Not so perfect

For a lot of us, either in Christian ministry or where we are seen up front of the church, the pressure to be perfect seems to always be there. At least that is how I have felt since I started college and it has continued since my husband and I have been in ministry.

My biggest 3 questions are: What makes me believe that they think I am perfect? and What am I doing that conveys this message to them? and How could I be more real and not put a glossy finish on myself all the time?

This discussion came up a week ago with quite a few ladies and I have been mulling it over since then. I think when it comes to ministry, you want to be wise in what you choose to reveal to others about your personal life. But, I know that I need to at least be able to tell those who are closest to me what the real struggles in my life are. And, that is what I seem to struggle with the most at times, and this is the key, because I want even some of those who know me the most, to think that I have it all together.

It is such a pride issue and self-protection.
"For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, 'Abba, Father!' The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him."

Ultimately, by trying to act so perfect, I am fearing what others think of me. This is written to a predominantly female group and my prayer for us is that we don't have to act like we are perfect. Especially to those who are in ministry by themselves, or with their husbands, or with your families, share the sufferings in our lives! Our struggles or sufferings can bring so much glory to our heavenly Father if we quit trying to glorify ourselves. Also, find those people in your life who you can trust completely and you know they would never tell your story without your permission.

It is so freeing to me. I am very thankful for the women that I could discuss this with. The Lord used his Holy Spirit to convict me of so many things this past week.

I am really not so perfect.