Preserved

It is amazing to think how God has preserved my life for His sake for about 15 years. It's INCREDIBLE!! I am a human being and He is God! He has allowed me to grow consistently through His Word and in prayer. There are too many times to count the amount of days that I "just didn't feel like it." And yet, God was still with me.

I remember when I was about 11-15 years old, I loved to highlight my Bible. I think it was because the I liked to color. But then, I tried to preach a couple times on a verse just like I saw my pastor doing. I would be embarrassed if anyone found me doing that though. :) I remember when I was 12, I told God that I was going to read 1 verse everyday for my devotions. I remember many mornings doing that and at that time I was definitely compartmentalizing my love for God.

There were a few times I was called a Jesus freak at school and actually was proud & maybe a little zealously arrogant. But the Lord kept growing me even still. Throughout high school, I loved my youth group. God really used the friends in there and the leaders to help shape my personality and teach me spiritually. I desired to be a leader in there and was there as many times as the door was open.

Then it came time for college. The Lord led me to both of the colleges I attended through a skiing accident & working at a Christian sports camp in the summers. He spoke so clearly each time. He allowed me a few lonely nights at college where I would curl up in a pink Lazy-Boy and pour my heart out to Him. I loved reading the Word and dwelling on it. It was an entirely different level of desiring the Lord that had not existed before. He used my slightly introverted personality to cling onto a few spiritually-deep girls at my first college. Then in the summers throughout college, I worked as a counselor at a sports camp. It was definitely love-hate. I hated being away from my family and people that I really knew but I LOVED the way God would speak to me during my summers there. I would learn a thousand lessons each summer & that is what kept bringing me back to work there. Then God used that camp to open my eyes and hear to desire full-time ministry as a degree. I wanted so badly to love people and tell them about God. Then he led me to my second college.

This college poured buckets of God, His Word, and love for His people on my head! God humbled me so many times, so many times, that I wondered a few moments why I was there. There, He surrounded me with people who, for the most part, desired God, challenged me, got in deep conversations, also had lots of fun. Even in my most weary semester, He gave me a gracious roommate, so much daily strength, & friends that would pray. God also knew about a certain guy that would help sharpen me, challenge me, and just let me be myself. He brought me the best gift, other than salvation, my husband. My husband, has been such a picture of grace in my life. I cannot imagine life without this man. God placed Him in my life, while at my birthday party, at just the most interesting point in my college life. And ever since meeting my husband, God has used him to look at myself in the mirror & see who I really am: good or bad. I've had to face God in raw moments trying to decide if pride was winning the day or if I was willing to be humble and confess my sin.

At this stage of my life with God, He is teaching me so much about what love for His people really looks like. I have compartmentalized too long and it's time that I start actually living out what I say I believe. This is the first time in a few years that I have had a working environment of all non-christians, with a few exceptions. And also at this job, I'm being taught what perseverance, contentment, and true joy in Christ looks like even at a place that I don't like to work.

I'm excited to see how God continues to shape my life throughout the next 10 years & get to look back at these past years. It really makes me thankful for all that God has brought me through and that He really is my Rock and my Refuge. I could not live without Him and would rather not picture life without Him.