Listening

Do you pretend- listen? I have before and it's not good, right? Someone is sharing their heart and here is the list of options I usually try and throw out:

1. nodding my head profusely
2. saying "uh-huh, uh-huh, I totally agree"
3. thinking while they talk about the next 'inspiring' tid-bit to share.
4. reminding them of an experience i went through and assuming that we can both relate to either.
5. I start diagnosing the problem, adding fuel to the fire

Recently, I was reminded by my husband about the importance of just listening and actually hearing that person. Then I remember Jill Briscoe speaking at a chapel in college and she talked about 'a ministry of presence.'

In the past week, I have been on the side of 'being listened to,' twice. It really feels like the persons cared about what I was saying, listened to me all the way through, there was silence, more silence, and more and then they affirmed me in who I am in Christ. There was hardly a mention of my problem or my rantings but they brought it back to my identity in Christ, which was incredible 'advice' to me.

They didn't assume anything about me, they listened.
They didn't make a laundry list for me on how to make this problem go away.
They didn't assume that we have been in the same place and try to fit me in that box.

James 1:19-20 " Know this, beloved brothers; let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness that God requires."

And you know how I know God is listening? He brings an overwhelming peace, a sense of His love, and allows me to rest in Him with anything I bring to Him. He does not bring guilt or a spirit of condemnation to those who are His, He does not bring anxiety or unrest.

James 3:17 "But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere."

I want to listen like that.