I was given a book to read by a wonderful, godly woman about 3 weeks ago. I was warned that it has a "love-hate" relationship with women and that intrigued me enough to read it. I came into it very skeptical because as a 'new' wife, I feel as if I have read a gammat of wife- books. But the cover was intriguing enough for me not to just toss it on my bookshelves: Created To Be His Help-Meet: Discover how God can make your marriage glorious.
Who wouldn't want to read such a bold title as that? and Who wouldn't want a "glorious" marriage? So I set-out on my journey through this book and this is what I found:
- God's perfect will for me, as a wife, is that I be a help-meet to my husband. I do have a choice in how good my marriage will be. "For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man." (1 Corinthians 11:8-9)
- Break the 'poor- me' habit. Is the joy of the Lord our strength? If it is, wives will need to stop using the "poor- me" excuse to manipulate their husbands into their plans. Learn to smile, showing him what is lovely, and and earning every shared moment.
- Practice makes perfect. Practice having a merry and thankful heart. Too often, wives have practiced sad, unthankful, and complaining hearts due to financial constraints. This downcast, unthankful attitude is a dishonor to God and an attack on your husband's ego. There are a thousand verses that talk about being thankful/ content in all circumstances.
- As wives, we were not made to be our husband's conscience. That is the job of the Holy Spirit. Go to God and pray, pray, pray before you think about bringing something up to your husband. More than often, the Lord is already working in your husband concerning this issue. Leave things that are the Holy Spirit's to the Holy Spirit.
- Do not allow yourself to dwell on bitter, mad thoughts concerning your husband. Were you mad at your husband this week over something he did, like being late, speaking rudely to you, or yelling at the kids? Did you seethe with bitterness and intentionally avoid looking into his eyes so as to express your disdain? You know what I am talking about. You remember the ugliness of your own heart and soul. Yes, your husband deserved it. Yes, it is your right. But is there any satisfaction in your punishing responses? Does he now bend to your anger and do better in hopes of escaping your condemnation? He practices his faults, and you practice your bitterness. You are both practicing divorce. Your children watch and are practicing being poor future mothers and fathers.
- Learn to enjoy the trip. Do you find yourself having to direct him through traffic or giving out directions? All for the stupid reason of not getting lost or being on time, I open my big mouth and try to command my husband in an impatient tone, all the while, lowering and lowering his ego. All in all, it is not really a big deal if he takes a wrong turn or we get there a few minutes late, I just need to be quiet and enjoy the ride.
- From the beginning, God meant for us to be a comfort, a blessing, a reward, a friend, an encouragement, and a right- hand woman. Adam commenced his rule of the planet before God created Eve to help him in his life's goals. Adam didn't need Eve's consent. God gave her to Adam to be HIS helper, not his partner. She was designed to serve, not to be served, to assist, not to veto his decisions..... Look at Eve. Can you imagine her saying something like this to Adam? "When God brought me to you in that wonderful garden, and we commenced life together, you never said anything about thorns and thistles, about pain in childbirth, about milking goats and churning butter. I am not a wilderness girl!"
Life is full of choices. How you choose to respond will help decide your fate in life. Life is now. Learn to really enjoy taking out the trash or milking a cow. You will be amazed at how God will fill you full of himself.
This book has been so encouraging and has woken me up to love and help my husband. How I react to my husband affects our marriage in a HUGE way, whether it be good or bad. So badly I want control over the situation, but is it worth me going against my husband's leadership and overall, against God's authority to have 10 minutes of control? I don't think so.
Please read this book! It is called "Created to Be His Help-Meet" by Debi Pearl.
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