Resting

Recently, my husband rearranged this hymn, same lyrics, different melody, and I absolutely love it! Rest is something I struggle with aLL. tHE. tIME. Even if I am sleeping, my brain doesn't shut off, and it somehow wakes up with the same worries of this life. Something God is showing me lately is how I don't know how to really rest in Him.

I am talking about a spiritual rest that might and might not give way to even physical, emotional, or mental rest. At least the kind of rest God supplies brings eternal peace, not necessarily a relief from circumstances, but a rest that brings a strong, unbreakable trust in who God is. Jesus has said, "I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst."

These are the questions I started asking myself when thinking through rest:

- Vacation away from home is nice and definitely needed but what does rest look like the other 51 weeks of the year?

- Is my hope resting in who God IS or just on what I think He is DOING? (big difference)

- Do I believe that He is my complete satisfaction or do I just say it in an 'auto-pilot-kind-of-way?'

- Where do my thoughts go when I am by myself (worry, my to-do list, myself, stuff OR am I trusting, hoping in Him, investing in others, serving)

The words to this song capture my thoughts as of lately.........

Jesus I am resting, resting in the Joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness of Thy loving heart.
Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee, and Thy beauty fills my soul,
For by Thy transforming power, Thou hast made me whole.

Simply trusting Thee, Lord Jesus, I behold Thee as Thou art,
And Thy love, so pure, so changeless, satisfies my heart;
Satisfies its deepest longings, meets supplies its every need,
Compasseth me round with blessings; Thine is love indeed!

Ever lift Thy face upon me, as I work and wait for Thee;
Resting 'neath Thy smile, Lord Jesus, earth's dark shadows flee.
Brightness of my Father's glory, sunshine of my Father's face,
Keep me ever trusting, resting; fill me with Thy grace.

The Year of July

Can't every month for an entire year just be July????

What I love about July:

picnics fresh fruit cheap produce lazy weekends

vacations family hot weather more sightings of the sun

thunder & lightning swimming flip-flops smells of suntan lotion

freckles baseball shorts happier people road-trips

sundresses ice cream (but if I were honest, I eat that year-round)

I love summer.

Can we just sit in the month of July for about 5 months of this year?

I would be grateful every. single. day.

Summerness

I think it is true..... the older you get the faster time goes. And I hate that. Seriously, I am trying to think of ways to get time to slow down. Maybe if I pitch all my responsibilities, like my job, and sit in a canoe all day on a lake, time would slow down. But that won't be happening soon or maybe ever.

It is already June 24th!!! the 24th!!! And I look at June and ask myself, "What have you done?" I am such a scheduler of my time but have tried to throw the schedule out the door..... and I get nothing accomplished and actually waste a TON of time. So, for me, I need a schedule, it just works for me.

I would like to:

- read The Pleasures of God

- organize all my curriculum for school and start in on it.

- go to a park and be able to read there for a day instead of at my home where I always find something better to do

- get back into writing letters (i used to do this all the time!)

- look for homes to maybe buy at the end of this summer

- play tennis more

- go to a Half-Price Books and look around

- just sit and soak in God's Word

I want to look back at this summer and be able to say I haven't just wasted time, relationships, money, or my mind. This verse comes to my mind- Acts 20:24 But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God."

I want everything I do this summer to bring more glory and honor to God. Laziness is an awful disease and it hinders me from doing just that. Not being able to enjoy what God has given me is something I struggle with, too. So I want to can laziness and embrace contentment this summer so the Lord would be known better.

Date nights

Drew and I are looking at our summer and we want to really take advantage of the amazing weather, more time with each other, and realizing we want to be more creative for date times. So here are our ideas, feel free to steal for your own!

- Ice cream dates

- Cleveland Indians' games (I will always bring a book along; just in case the game is going... slow hee-hee)

- Go on a day trip to cities around you to explore (Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Columbus, Cincinnati)

- picnic/hike

- bike ride on the towpath

- play tennis weekly

- mini-golf/ or real-golf

- rent a canoe or kayak and go on Portage Lakes

- make dinner based on what was at the local Farmer's Market that morning

- go to the State Fair

Have fun! And if you have any ideas I would gladly welcome them!

He ONLY

This psalm has left me thinking a lot:

Psalm 62

"for God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.....for my hope is from him.....Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us...."

Aren't there so many distractions in everyday life? I know it is easy for me to get bogged down in the daily distractions whether that is in word, thought, or action. Or if I am discouraged or needing advice, how easy it is for me to go call someone who will comfort me, or agree with me, or at least let me vent. Even the most spiritual looking activities can become distractions if doing them for the praise of men or to "earn my salvation" for the day.

The Lord is so gracious to work through these hurdles throughout the day. He allows me to still learn who he is and how he loves me even through the times I get distracted. I am learning how much I can rely on myself and disguise it even to myself, as if it is actually God. Or I will pray harder and even have other people pray for me in the areas that I think I should have. (As if God is a genie....)

I am comforted by the psalmist's words and I am challenged. Is God my ONLY ROCK I lean upon? Is my hope from Him? Do I trust Him? Do I pour out my heart before Him before turning to my people? Do I believe that He is a refuge unto me?

God is stronger, better, most -satisfying........ but do I really believe that? I am striving to place God back on the throne in these areas of my life that I have almost unknowingly tried to climb into his place. Or I have placed people on his throne thinking that they are my rock or they give me the satisfying hope that only He can give.

So what does that look like everyday for me?

- Asking God for help in the areas that I worry about the most and praying, "Lord, I am handing you this worry, and I give you this worry, and I give this area."

- Praying "Your will be done, Lord"

- Running to Him at all times of the day and "hiding" in Him

- Picturing Him on the throne and how I would never want myself to take His place in ANY way!

- Thinking more upon His character- sovereign, good, loving, just, merciful, gracious, and knows me better than anyone.

- thinking how to honor His name despite hard news or discouraging times

God With Us

Since it is getting closer to Christmas, I wanted to read the Christmas passages. These passages are so rich in meaning and the fulfillment of the Christ coming as a man, but still very God. As I read, I really want to think upon one of these verses a day because who Christ is and what He did for me is incredible. The birth of Christ shows me 5 things:
1. God really does care about me and about me having a relationship with Him.
2. God hates sin so much that He sent His only Son.
3. God is true to His promises because He has prophesied about the coming of Jesus since Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden.
4. Immanuel means "God with us." Jesus coming to Bethlehem was a very physical manifestation and then he sent His Holy Spirit to be with his believers forever. God is with us even today.
5. I want to be like Anna, who waited eagerly for the coming of the Christ. And in the meantime, I want to be like John the Baptist, who pointed people to Christ for salvation and the forgiveness of their sins.

Here are the passages in case you are interested in reading them throughout this month:
Matthew 1:18-25
Matthew 2
Luke 1
Luke 2

Merry Christmas! Jesus is truly why we celebrate Christmas.

Sooooo much to be thankful for this year:

- being able to live and breathe without any hindrances
- being able to still run after a hard marathon this year.
- getting to run the marathon with my incredible husband beside me
- both Drew and I love our jobs
- we have never gone hungry one day of our lives
- we have a home to call home
- for the family who very graciously loaned us their extra home for the year.
- being redeemed by Christ and being able to call God, Abba
- my marriage to the most wonderful & godly man ever. He has shown me most clearly what human love should look like
- God's Word, that it is living and active and God still teaches me through it
- the ministry of John Piper, and the committed preaching of God's Word through Him
- both Drew and I's families
- having 2 cars to drive, ...... that work.... :)
- friendships with people from Moody still, who challenge us, encourage us, and lead us back to the cross (Robyn, Suttons, Jonny, Haskins, Rachel, Halbleib, Huffs, LT, and I'm sure I'm forgetting a couple) We LOVED our time with you guys!
- friendships with people here in Akron area (too many to name)
- our church
- my school debt paid off by a gracious and generous person
- my students who teach me everyday about patience, and a simple child-like faith in Christ
- remaining healthy this fall thus far
- Bible study with my ladies, Leader's and non-leaders, love them both so much!

There have got to be so many more, but these are just to name a few specific ones.
I want to always continue this attitude of thanks to God. He is good by taking things away but also giving things to me that I don't deserve. I love the idea that God has taken things away from me for my good and for His glory. He really is good and loving if He cares that much.

Something I want to challenge myself to do today is praise God for who He is using the alphabet- A to Z. (I learned this from a lady that I am very thankful for)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!

To-Do List

My to-do list in the next few months or so:

1. call my family and close friends more regularly (I am working on getting better at this).
2. get the courage to take Drew to McDonald's (because most people know I LOATHE that place.)
3. Finish the 3 different books that I am not doing well at finishing right now.
4. Plan cheaper monthly meals so I don't go over-budget like I did this year.
5. take more pictures (even though our camera looks like it has been stepped on too much.)
6. try to make it through the whole Jillian Michaels' dvd without feeling like I might faint
7. work on stretching more so I can touch my toes without bouncing
8. hang up my coat when I come home instead of throwing it on the floor.
9. throw our pumpkins out before Christmas (last year I think we received a notice from our apt. complex practically begging us to remove our pumpkins, and that was in January, oops)
10. not freak out with the fact that our free weekends don't begin until the middle of January

What's on your to-do list?

What Does Faith Receive?

This really convicted me about the idol of 'self', namely myself. Upon becoming a believer in Jesus Christ, do I regard him in my entire life as supremely valuable? Or do I just want what the 'non-believer' wants because it is convenient and easy to do?

Here is an excerpt from "Think":

"Faith saves because it receives Jesus. But we must make clear what this actually means, because there are so many people who say they have received Christ and believed on Christ but show little or no evidence that they are spiritually alive. They are unresponsive to the spiritual beauty of Jesus. They are unmoved by the glories of Christ. They don't have the spirit of apostle Paul when he said,
'I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ" (Phil. 3:8).

One way to describe this problem is to say that when these people "receive Christ," they do not receive him as supremely valuable. They receive him simply as sin-forgiver (because they love being guilt-free), and as rescuer-from-hell (because they love being pain-free), and as healer (because they love being disease-free), and as protector (because they love being safe), and as prosperity-giver (because they love being wealthy), and as creator (because they want a personal universe), and as Lord of history (because they want order and purpose). But they don't receive him as personally and supremely valuable for who he is. .......

They don't receive him as he really is-- more glorious, more beautiful, more wonderful, more satisfying, than everything else in the universe.......

Such a "receiving" of Christ is the kind of receiving an unregenerate, "natural" person can do. This is a kind of "receiving" that requires no change in human nature. You don't have to be born again to love being guilt-free, pain-free, disease-free, safe, and wealthy. All natural men without any spiritual life love these things. But to embrace Jesus as your supreme treasure requires a new nature. No one does this naturally. You must be born again (John 3:3). You must be a new creation in Christ (2 Cor. 5:17; Gal. 6:15). You must be made spiritually alive (Eph. 2:1-4).

Thinking- too much or too little?

I have been reading "Think" by John Piper the past few weeks and am only a third of the way through but have been deeply encouraged and challenged already. He is examining the role of thinking in a believer's life, how much we should be doing, and is it necessary in our pursuit of God.

Sometimes thinking seems too hard about a particular subject so I just shut my mind off or turn it onto something else. Other times thinking comes quite easily and questions are shooting off in my mind. I believe that God created us with minds, somewhat intelligent minds, and that they shouldn't sit there in neutral all our lives. I am definitely not a genius, nor even close to being one, but there are times when I can't get enough of thinking. But how much is too little and how much is too much? I think there is a healthy balance that is needed or you can become a foolish simpleton or a overbearing, arrogant analyzer.

Here are some quotes from "Think" :

"This book is a plea to embrace serious thinking as a means of loving God and people. It is a plea to reject either-or thinking when it comes to head and heart, thinking and feeling, reason and faith, theology and doxology, mental labor and a ministry of love.
It is a plea to see thinking as a necessary, God-ordained means of knowing God." (p.15)

"Thinking is not an end in itself. Nothing but God himself is finally an end in itself. Thinking is not the goal of life. Thinking, like non-thinking, can be the ground for boasting. Thinking, without prayer, without the Holy Spirit, without obedience, without love, will puff up and destroy. (1Cor. 8:1) But thinking under the mighty hand of God, thinking soaked in prayer, thinking carried by the Holy Spirit, thinking tethered to the Bible, thinking in pursuit of more reasons to praise and proclaim the glories of God, thinking in the service of love-- such thinking is indispensible in a life of fullest praise to God." (p. 27)

"2 Timothy 2:7, where Paul says to Timothy, "Think over what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything." The command is that he think, consider, use his mind to try to understand what he means. And the reason Paul gives for this thinking is this, "For the Lord will give you understanding." Paul does not put these in tension: thinking on the one side and receiving the gift of understanding from God on the one side. They go together. Thinking is essential on the path to understanding. But understanding is a gift of God." (p.30)

20/20 Vision

Much of our present culture is biblically illiterate or ignorant. Blame it on technology, more self-help books, or just plain laziness. Most of our children's church is made up of a "Disney look-alike contest" and how much we can visually stimulate them within an hour's time.

The basics of the Bible were not meant to be kept away and locked up for only those who go to bible schools or seminaries. The riches of the depth of the glories of Christ were meant for every person who opens His Word seeking Him.

Anytime you are asked a question such as, "What do you think about the poor and what Christians should do?" or "What does it look like to give generously?" or "Should I participate in this activity?" ........ How do you answer those questions?

Is it life experience? Is it what someone else told you? Or is it based on biblical principles?

I think it is okay to answer based on life experience but then go back and think about why you think that way. Is it biblical? Look up verses that come to mind or do a word study. If it is not biblical, then why is it not? And maybe I will have to change my view on something that I have always grown up thinking was right but wasn't based on His Word.

I have been challenged in my thinking life recently and I want to challenge you to put on your "Bible eyes" all the time. Don't take them off like glasses, keep them on, because it is the way that God intends us to see Him and each other. When you give a friend or spouse advice or encouragement, is it biblical? Pray for discernment and patience because the answer may not be there immediately.

Read these verses and see the grand importance and significance of the Word:
2 Timothy 3: 15-17
"and that from childhood you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training for righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work."

Hebrews 4:12
"For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart."

He Loves Me in My Weakness- 26.2 miles later

(us at the John S. Knight Center getting our gear!)

(the morning of the marathon)

(Us at mile 10. you can see Drew behind the guy that decided to pose for our picture)

2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." (Paul to the Corinthians)

=The summary of the marathon Drew and I ran this past weekend.

Backtracking...... Last December, Drew blurted out that we were going to do the Akron marathon together. I was beyond excited because this had been a dream I have had since we were dating- completing a marathon together. So we signed up in February and everything looked good- 7 months out..... :)

We started really training at the end of May building our mileage up week by week. Drew had never been a runner but he was kicking booty out there each week. I felt pretty good about the whole thing. We were dedicated... getting up at 5am on Saturday mornings in the summer to do our long runs before it became unbearably hot. We carried extra water, packed frozen washcloths, and always a note card of directions so we would know where to go around different towns.

Then September hit. I couldn't believe that there was only 3 weeks left before the big race. I was nervous but excited. Drew was never quite as nervous as me and acted like it was really no big deal. Then this past Friday night came and we went to the Expo to get our gear for the next day. We got our bibs, goodie bags, and sweet Brooks jackets and headed home for our pasta dinner.

Saturday morning- nerves, excitement, chilly fall air, dark until 7am, parking the car just a few blocks from the Starting Line, and walking to our place in the race. We take off and are running towards mile 1 and realize we are going way faster than we should be but still proud of ourselves.

Then we get to about Mile 5 and something in my knee is aching... and it feels like my past ACL surgery is started to re-visit me. I figure it will wear off eventually.... but mile 8 rolls around and it is still there but aching even more loudly. But the people and cheering distracts me until about mile 11 when we start on a 4 mile stint on the Ohio Towpath.... and then there was no crowds and I could feel my knee even more and the pain was seizing my hamstring.

We pull off the path and stretch it out and it lasts for a bit of time but I am already a little discouraged. So much so, that I knew that at mile 15 Drew's family would be there and I thought about calling it quits and letting Drew push forward, but he said we were going to finish this race. Hardest miles ever...... 15-22. 8 miles of walking/running, crying, being frustrated and emotionally/mentally gone. We finished in 5 hours and 3 minutes holding hands across the finish line.

I am crying just thinking about my husband by my side the entire time. He wouldn't ever leave me and I gave him permission to run ahead at least 5 times, but he refused. He insisted that we finish together. He pushed me to finish strong, at one point demanding that I better keep running. and I needed him to do that. He would put his arm around me and constantly ask how I was doing. I cried a couple times in the middle of the race because I was frustrated with the time we would get, sad that my knee was throbbing, and disappointed in myself and the fact that Drew would have to get a bad time because of me. Then I cried a good 3 times towards the end of the race realizing how incredible my husband is for sticking next to me the entire time.

I didn't get my 'dream time' and I didn't finish as nicely as I would have liked but God in His extreme mercy showed me a new love and strength to me by giving me such a determined husband and for even allowing me to finish. He really does love me, He allowed me to know Him even better despite this injury. He allowed me to be weak so that I would know His strength and I take comfort in that. He is good and He knows me better because He is my Creator. He also strengthened Drew and I's marriage in such a unique way. I am more in love with my husband as a result.

God is my strength and my rock. He is faithful to His promises. He is love.
He loves me. This I am more sure of than I ever have been before.

Listening

Do you pretend- listen? I have before and it's not good, right? Someone is sharing their heart and here is the list of options I usually try and throw out:

1. nodding my head profusely
2. saying "uh-huh, uh-huh, I totally agree"
3. thinking while they talk about the next 'inspiring' tid-bit to share.
4. reminding them of an experience i went through and assuming that we can both relate to either.
5. I start diagnosing the problem, adding fuel to the fire

Recently, I was reminded by my husband about the importance of just listening and actually hearing that person. Then I remember Jill Briscoe speaking at a chapel in college and she talked about 'a ministry of presence.'

In the past week, I have been on the side of 'being listened to,' twice. It really feels like the persons cared about what I was saying, listened to me all the way through, there was silence, more silence, and more and then they affirmed me in who I am in Christ. There was hardly a mention of my problem or my rantings but they brought it back to my identity in Christ, which was incredible 'advice' to me.

They didn't assume anything about me, they listened.
They didn't make a laundry list for me on how to make this problem go away.
They didn't assume that we have been in the same place and try to fit me in that box.

James 1:19-20 " Know this, beloved brothers; let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness that God requires."

And you know how I know God is listening? He brings an overwhelming peace, a sense of His love, and allows me to rest in Him with anything I bring to Him. He does not bring guilt or a spirit of condemnation to those who are His, He does not bring anxiety or unrest.

James 3:17 "But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere."

I want to listen like that.

Our Home

Drew and I are moved out of our beloved apartment in Stow, Ohio and jumped to the next town to live for a year. We are trusting the Lord with this year and if He wills we will hopefully buy a home.

It is crazy how much time looking at homes online can consume my time. And then, add watching HouseHunters in the mix of time, and then not have I only wasted time but now I can begin to covet bigger homes with newer and more shiny things.

Honestly, I want this year to be one that we can be generous: with our time, money, and resources. So much thought about buying a home can make me want to 'hunker-down' on the finances, miss out on spending time with people, and just make me greedy in many areas of my life.

And I'm thinking...... that's NOT what I am supposed to be because so many passages in Scripture talk about giving, being generous, giving willingly, and living like Christ. Who, if I remember right, Christ never bought a home and I am positive he never worried about the fact that he really didn't have a home on this earth.

And then, I remember that my real home is with Him. I know people will say, "Well, it's not wrong to want things on this earth." Honestly, my problem is ---- I KNOW THAT ALL TOO WELL. and I want my earthly home more than I want my heavenly home. I want the earthly toys more than I want to grow in my likeness to my Father.

Gosh, sometimes it is SO hard to remember this. This is a season in my life where this just falls naturally in place with the "recipe of life"- go to college, graduate, get married, work, buy a home, have children, and on and on..... People around me are having babies, buying homes, and getting bigger toys than me.

I confess to my Father for my greed, discontentment, and selfishness and ask His forgiveness. I want to rejoice every day and not have to think once about the fact that I don't have this or that. I want to bask in the gift of redemption that He has given to me. I want to have an attitude of thankfulness and continuously remember his faithfulness.

Just this week, we got a flat tire and ended up replacing 2 tires. Gulp. Tires are expensive, who knew? Instead of thanking God for keeping us safe, the fact that we even get to have a car, for the money to pay for the tires, instead I became upset and pouted about spending that money when we could have had that for something else. I really was a brat.

My husband, has a line in one of his songs, "This world is not my home.... I'm just passing through.... My eyes are on the city paved of gold...." These things will all burn but have I lived a life honoring to God in faithful obedience? I strive to rest more in Him and less in myself.

Last Year

I always evaluate my year from September to September and I think it has something to do with it being school-time again, my birthday and anniversary are then, and fall gets crazy.

This time last year, I was a little nervous about the next year but knew that God would provide in many ways and He did.

1. Last September, Drew and I celebrated 2 years of marriage. I love love love my drewbie and I couldn't have gotten a better husband if I had tried! The Lord knew all our little idiosyncrasies and He made us to compliment each other. My favorite time is usually when we are able to study the Word in the mornings separately, but then at the end we just talk and talk about what we just read. I just found a prayer journal from the year we started dating (2005) and it was so sweet to have that to look back at and remember the sweet joys of dating.

2. Drew was an intern last year and we were sufficiently surviving on our incomes. It's really all about contentment in the end anyways whether you have $1 million or $100. God is continuing to teach me about that every month.

3. I got sick, alot..... and it wasn't fun. God is teaching me patience and dependence on Him as the new allergy season approaches this fall.

4. I really love my 2 jobs. I am so thankful to God that I get to work at a place that encourages me spiritually but I also get to love on and encourage my kiddos.

5. Drew, beginning in January, became full-time at our church! And then, what do you know, our car broke down completely. Again, our money is not ours, it is His. We can make plans to spend or save it this or that way but in the end we are just not really in control.

6. We babysat 3 times last year, each family had 3 kids. I learned a different dependence on my Savior in those times of trying to get people places and realizing trying to get 3 extra bodies out the door is more of a challenge than originally thought. A huge praise to God for allowing me to work through many of my insecurities in this area, so much so, that just last week when we babysat, I was so at peace.

7. Change is good. We are moving this week to another temporary place for a year. Again, God provided in a huge way to allow us a really cute place to stay for this year. Then we will evaluate and see if a house is the best next option for us this time next year.

8. This next one makes me tear up every time I think about it: my school debt was paid for by an incredible person(s). I will never forget that day when Drew called me and said, "You're never going to believe what I have to tell you." I cried and cried and cried. I STILL can't believe that the balance is ZERO. I go online every now and then to stare at the ZERO. Thank you, God, for that person's generous heart and their love for you to do this for us. What a huge and extremely tangible answer to my prayers for the past 5 years.

9. Training for this marathon is a great reminder to me of my walk with Christ. There are some weeks where we do less mileage and I think, "Oh, I don't really need to stretch for this run, I'll be fine. I don't need to do this because I did more last week." But those runs tend to be harder than the really long ones because I haven't surrendered myself to the Lord and the strength He is able to supply. Drew and I are running 18 tomorrow morning and already I'm a little weak in the knees just thinking about it, but I know God will supply the right amount of strength needed. I will still be exhausted at some points and may even need to walk but that is ok and I know His strength is still there with me.

10. I need His Word. I want the gospel to saturate my entire life, my speech, and my thoughts. This year, I feel like His Word has become more refreshing to me, my desire to study His Word is stronger, and I want to live it out. My God is good, He wants me to depend on Him instead of trying to be in control, and He is my Rock. I really can't do anything without Him and that seems to be a common thread that I have seen throughout last year.

This year, I have no idea what the Lord holds for me but I know He will be faithful to make me more like Him.

Wise Words

Here are a few quotes from Christianity for Modern Pagans- Pascal's Pensees edited, outlined, and explained by Peter Kreeft:
(some quotes you will need to read 3 or 4 times to understand it but trust me, you want to understand what they are saying, SO important...)


>In the past , the difficulty in accepting Christianity was its second point, salvation. Everyone in premodern societies knew sin was real, but many doubted salvation. Today it is the exact opposite: everybody is saved, but there is no sin to be saved from.


>Pride can never defeat pride; only humility can defeat pride.


>We are incapable of not desiring truth and happiness and incapable of either certainty or happiness.


>It is instructive to compare Job and Ecclesiastes. For this is the comparison between ancient and modern man. Ecclesiastes, like modern man, has everything, yet has nothing because it is only "vanity." Job, like ancient man, has nothing but has everything because he has God.


>The explanation is obvious: if you don't know the true God, you must sooner or later find some false god to worship. To be human is to worship. The alternative to theism is not atheism but idolatry.


>Man must not be allowed to believe that he is equal either to animals or angels, nor to be unaware of either, but he must know both......modern philosophy has lost its sane anthropology because it has lost its cosmology. Man does not know himself because he does not know his place in the cosmos; he confuses himself with angel or with animal.

Funny stories

The family I tutor for has 3 kids; ages 7, 5, and 3. The littlest one is a girl and she always cracks me up. She had a hotdog on a fishing pole and caught a 100- lb dog with it! Unfortunately, the hook got a little stuck in the doggie's mouth, all is well now though!

The 5 year old wanted a wasp's nest that happened to be in their mailbox. Mom kept telling him no because he could get stung. He was determined to get it out and he did, all without getting stung. He is so proud now to tell that story.

This morning, Drew was leaving and needing to get something out of the car he was not going to be driving. I told him to throw the key up when he was done and I would catch it. Mind you, our apartment is on the 3rd floor. He threw it, i couldn't grab it, and it landed on our neighbor's porch on the 2nd floor. I thought I might be able to climb down but at the last minute wondered how I would get back down or up, no good. So Drew grabbed a camping chair and I threw him a broom. I cannot stop laughing and at this point Drew is getting a little frustrated with me, because I can hardly talk to give him directions, right, no, go left! I am laughing so hard!
Then low and behold, some of the maintenance guys walk by and I'm sure were scratching their heads at the scene before their eyes. Do they ask us for help, not a chance!
I grab a sturdier chair from upstairs, Drew grabs a golf club and tries to retrieve the key again.
VICTORY!!!!
Lesson learned.

Making lunches for Drew is always interesting. I'm not a snacker, so we just don't have snacks in the house. So when I make his lunch, it's left-overs, pb & j, maybe some fruit, if he's lucky chips, and if a miracle has happened, I've made some cookies. I always use Target bags, or any bag from the stores I've gone to. Well, he was in a hurry one day, and I stuffed his lunch into one of those flimsy fruit bags, the ones you put your fruit in at the grocery store. And it gets worse, it had a giant hole and I knew it but didn't say anything. Needless to say, he lost his lunch on the church stairs, his actual lunch came rolling out of the bag. He called me right after and we just laughed and laughed.

Hope this helps your day and makes you laugh, too!

True Rest is Soul Rest

I love being a teacher for a million reasons, one of them just happens to include:

SUMMER VACATION!!!!!

This summer has been the most different summer I have ever had. It is physically and spiritually restful. Matthew 11:28-29 comes to mind:

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

This verse is specifically talking about SOUL REST no matter what season of life you are in; busy or not-so-busy. For me, during the school year there are so many things for me to focus on other than finding my peace and satisfaction in Christ. I was reminded last night by our speaker at church, am I really relying on the Holy Spirit or Ashley?

This summer has been quiet, not busy, do-whatever-i-want-everyday, and pick up things I really enjoy. As strange as this will sound, it was hard to learn how to do this. I don't like days of quietness because I can hear my restlessness inwardly. It's awkward. But you know what I have needed that God has been trying to show me before now: my sin, His grace and love, and how to genuinely rest in Him.

The Holy Spirit is convicting me of sin, He is helping me to first confess it! This is hard even to confess sin sometimes! First, I HAVE to recognize my sin to see just how much I really need my Savior Jesus Christ.

I know that school is getting closer, the usual fall busyness will come, and life will seem a little hectic at times, but what God is teaching me this summer, I want to carry with me throughout the school year. I want to rest in Him, worry is a sin, but I want my soul to rest in Him.

Here is what He has allowed me to do this summer because it is so restful:
- Read (for hours)
- write notes again
- spend longer time with people, I never have to rush off
- be with my husband on his day off and sleep in
- sufficiently train for the marathon
- be available for people
- clean out the corners of our apt.
- enjoy the sounds of the morning without rushing anywhere
- getting to know the family I tutor for even better (love that family!)
- preparing for the '10-'11 school year
- sit outside
- go on vacation

I know this is just for a season. And I will try to not forget all the time He gave me, when the fall hits. But I ALWAYS want to remember to lean on Him, to place my entire trust in Him, to be still and listen, and to be thankful for the small things in life.

Summer Reads

* Because He Loves Me- Elyse Fitzpatrick
How the gospel transforms our everyday lives. I loved this book because she really boiled down our action vs God's actions in our process of sanctification.

* Les Miserables- Victor Hugo
Still have 400 pgs to go, this book is LONG! But worth every word in its unabridged 1400 pg. self. I have even underlined quotes in this book. Besides all the French revolution history, the plot is encouraging, showing you how the most unloved, and miserable people walk through life as their lives intertwine together.
"Oh Thou who art! Ecclesiastes names thee the Almighty; Maccabees names thee Creator; the Epistle to the Ephesians names thee Liberty; Baruch names thee Immensity; the Psalms name thee Wisdom and Truth; John names thee Light; the Book of Kings names thee Lord; Exodus calls thee Providence......"

* Humility- Andrew Murray
Just started, he is a Puritan, so this guy doesn't just say things to talk; and obviously, the title of his book.
"If Jesus is indeed to be our example in His humility, we need to understand the principles in which is was rooted. We need to find the common ground on which we stand with Him, and in which our likeness to Him is to be attained."

* Christianity for Modern Pagans: Pascal's Pensees- Blaise Pascal & Peter Kreeft
Just started this one. At first I wasn't jumping up and down, but the way Kreeft has edited, outlined, and explained each section of what Pascal says, makes it easy for people like me! Kreeft claims Pascal is the most effective Christian apologist and evangelist to today's culture.
"Not only do we only know God through Jesus Christ, but we only know ourselves through Jesus Christ; we only know life and death through Jesus Christ. Apart from Jesus Christ we cannot know the meaning of our life or our death, of God, or of ourselves."

These are great reads, I encourage you to get them, too!

2010 Running Lessons

Here are some tips that I have learned even this year from training for this race:

1. stretch, stretch, and more stretch! Stretch before you run, right after you run, and the day after you run. Try stretching everyday.
2. If you get shin splints or some type of muscle tear, just wait 3-4 days before running. Don't rush or it will get worse, did that and it was awful! During the wait, you can eliptical or walk and work on upper body.
3. the stronger the abs, the stronger you might run ( i still need to work harder on this one)
4. It's all a mind-game. Bring scripture, music, prayer cards, etc.
5. Smile or talk to yourself when you feel like giving up. I tell myself, "Don't be a wimp, c'mon!" (and sometimes I'll clap to get myself going, i look funny, yes.)
6. Don't run if you have a sinus-infection or any congestion in the head (it might be just me, but the last 2 times I have come down with migraines, blech)
7. Find someone to hold you accountable. Drew is that for me right now because we are both training for the same race.
8. If you are running for more than 10 miles, bring a 'baby-Gatorade' on your run because it could really energize you throughout your run.
9. mapmyrun.com (AWESOME site!)
10. Buy shorts that have a tiny pocket on the inside of the shorts to store a car or house key. That way you don't have to hold anything while you run.

Goals I have (Lord-willing):
1. I want to get faster. I would like to run 10:00 miles throughout the entire marathon. Idealistically, I want to run 9:45 miles but I have to think realistically.
2. I will be doing more calisthenics to work on my speed.
3. Doing 100-150 situps/ab-work every other day.
4. From here on out on all my runs, no walking, unless I have a serious injury or migraine.
5. Do hill-work 1-2 times per week.

Prayer for:
1. Drew and I's health. I have had so many colds this year and last that I get so nervous that I will get one the day of the marathon and not be able to complete it. Please pray for this one the most!!!
2. Stamina of heart, mind, and muscles. Even though I am only 26 soon to be 27, I run very different compared to the marathon I did just 5 years ago. (I'm slower and not as strong)
3. That all this running would glorify God and draw me closer to Him.