Pressure

Sinus pressure.  This year has been the absolute WORST for my sinuses and I don't have any good reasons.  Back in September Drew and I were perpetually sick until November, then I carried into November, having bronchitis.  I was never 100% all through December, maybe a week at a time.  Then in January, I had another bout of bronchitis and a sinus infection.  I was actually feeling okay from February-March until the nice weather started to kick in.  Then came allergies.  By Easter I was back to having some serious sinus problems.  And now, my head is about to pop off and I spent the last 2 nights sleeping upright thinking it would help.

I'm going to the doctor but it is so frustrating.  Going to the doctor and experimenting with different medicines isn't cheap.  I love to be outside and run but lately I have been hating the spring because I haven't been able to really enjoy it.  I'm just not used to being sick so much in a year.  

I think God is showing me that I'm not in control again.  But he's not doing it in a way of torture, I know that.  Every time this happens, my temper flares, and I get so impatient.  But I think I am now starting to ask myself, "How are you going to react even when you don't feel good?"  That is a struggle for me when I feel so out of my body.  Will I praise Him and be willing to encourage others despite these rounds of sickness?  I also know there are people in many worse circumstances than me and I shouldn't complain.  And there are people who have responded much more Christ-like and loving in their illness than me.  

I really want to use this time and see that God just needs me to rest in Him.  I need to stop denying that I am sick, go to the doctor right away, and just take the time off I need to get well.  My pride really stands in the way sometimes.  

or maybe..... God wants us to move to a warmer location.... hmmm..... :)  I am thankful to be reminded again that God knows my body, he created me, and I am just clearly not in control.