Not so perfect

For a lot of us, either in Christian ministry or where we are seen up front of the church, the pressure to be perfect seems to always be there. At least that is how I have felt since I started college and it has continued since my husband and I have been in ministry.

My biggest 3 questions are: What makes me believe that they think I am perfect? and What am I doing that conveys this message to them? and How could I be more real and not put a glossy finish on myself all the time?

This discussion came up a week ago with quite a few ladies and I have been mulling it over since then. I think when it comes to ministry, you want to be wise in what you choose to reveal to others about your personal life. But, I know that I need to at least be able to tell those who are closest to me what the real struggles in my life are. And, that is what I seem to struggle with the most at times, and this is the key, because I want even some of those who know me the most, to think that I have it all together.

It is such a pride issue and self-protection.
"For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, 'Abba, Father!' The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him."

Ultimately, by trying to act so perfect, I am fearing what others think of me. This is written to a predominantly female group and my prayer for us is that we don't have to act like we are perfect. Especially to those who are in ministry by themselves, or with their husbands, or with your families, share the sufferings in our lives! Our struggles or sufferings can bring so much glory to our heavenly Father if we quit trying to glorify ourselves. Also, find those people in your life who you can trust completely and you know they would never tell your story without your permission.

It is so freeing to me. I am very thankful for the women that I could discuss this with. The Lord used his Holy Spirit to convict me of so many things this past week.

I am really not so perfect.

dig in

I have talked to quite a few people over the past year that are struggling to know or 'feel' God. And it never fails, if I ask if they are in the Word, 95 % of the time is always because they are not intentionally spending time with the Living Word.

Even at my Bible study last night, I had a great time with my girls talking about getting in His Word and memorizing His Word. It is such a challenge to me to NOT be mediocre!


GET IN THE WORD! Pursue Christ.

I was challenged to stop making excuses for doing so much of everything else, to stop making new idols everyday, and to hunker myself in His Word. Nothing else will satisfy me like He does; NOTHING else. I worry, I plan, I think and think and think but it does nothing.

Nothing else will satisfy you like Christ will. He is my Righteousness and my Rock.

"And he said to them, 'Where is your faith?'" ~Luke 8:25a~

According to my 1st & 2nd graders....

I absolutely love my job as a teacher and here are some quotes from them, all from yesterday! I was laughing inside all day yesterday!

#1
In history they were making ancient Greek paper dolls, and well, the dolls don't have much on underneath because you are supposed to dress them and color their skin.
One of my sweetest girl students who has older girl siblings says,
"Mrs. Belden, he's putting a brawl ( a bra) on his doll."

The boy, "What is that?" (looking highly confused. All he was trying to do was draw an extra belt and placed it too high....)

Me, "I don't know what that is..." (as I'm dying laughing inside!)

#2
"Andrew is getting his tensils out, Mrs. Butler."
Mrs. Butler, "His pencils?"
Me, "No, she means his tonsils and he said something about having his androids taken out??? I don't know what those are."
Mrs. Butler, "Now, YOU mean adenoids!"

#3
I'm sure you didn't know that even amongst my 2nd graders, politics is high on their list to discuss. These are my 2nd graders talking, mind you they are 8:

"I voted for Obama."
"Well, I voted for John McCain."
"Yeah, me too. Yeah me too."
"Well that means that we are getting money from you now! My dad said so."
"You don't get all the money. We have to split it 50/50."

(Meanwhile, I am not proceeding with my lesson just so I can hear this intelligent debate between my 8 year olds.)

Love. my. job.

The Joy of Hospitality

This book is teaching me something new or something that I would like to put into practice each time I open it. I'm only in Chapter 3, but it is a book that is geared towards women who want to use their home to honor Christ.

Chapter 3 has stuck out the most to me due to its emphasis on showing hospitality to your own immediate family first before you should extend hospitality to others. Our first responsibility should be to our husbands and children, otherwise we will be big hypocrites.

Here are some ideas that the book gives that you can put this into practice:
- plan special events for your family: game night, Mexican night, popcorn and movie night, dessert day!, go-out-to-eat for fun. These special nights/ events will give your family something to look forward to and will create a fun evening for everyone.
- For birthdays, establish a few things throughout the day that will really make the birthday person feel loved and appreciated. They mentioned that each birthday something unexpected (that is good) should happen.
- leaving notes around the house for your family showing them encouragement, support, and love.
- If you are married, partner with your husband in the making of these special events. If you are single, partner with a good friend/ sibling to create these special events for other people.

How am I going to apply this to my family of Drew and I?????

This week I am making Drew's favorite dessert: funfetti cupcakes from a box. It's what the man requested, it's easy and quick, what a great husband! We are having his favorite meal first- green apple pork chops, lemon-butter noodles, and fresh green beans. And then on to the cupcakes!!!
Next week, I'm making tacos and we're having a Mexican night. I bought fun Fiesta plates and some streamers. Maybe we'll even play a game.

I think these are small steps to starting to show hospitality even when it is just Drew and I. Being intentional with the people that you love the most really allows them to see Christ's character more clearly and it encourages them.
Romans 12:13 ~ Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

Our heavenly Father has adopted me into His family and has welcomed me and given me an eternal inheritance that will never perish or fade away. How can I refuse to show love to someone or refuse to welcome someone after all that he has done for me?

Back at it!

I had to figure out what I could write about that I am passionate about. I think that is key to keeping a blog in the first place. If you don't like what you write about, the chances of surviving in the 'blog world' are much more difficult.

So I sat down and hashed it out with the Lord:
- am I supposed to blog again at all?
- what do I write about?
-what would God be most glorified in me writing about?
- what topic would hopefully diminish pride and honor Him the most?

I realize after this that need a detailed plan if I'm going to commit to anything because I hate being a weak participant in anything. I realized a few things about myself as I asked the Lord about this blogging business:

I DO NOT SPECIALIZE IN COOKING, CLEANING, OR ANYTHING HOUSE- ORIENTED.

I have several friends that are cooking and household gurus and I thought I would leave that up to them. It's just something that I'm not very passionate about and I would feel very copy-cat- like. :)

So I have decided I could write very passionately about:
- Theology
- the books that I am reading and what I'm learning
- Sermons
- occasional personal tid-bits
- Drew and I's marathon training and how it ties in to our spiritual life

My prayer for any reader is that you would be edified and that you would fall more in love with our Lord and Savior. The prayer for myself is that I would remain a humble servant, maintain consistency, and stay focused on my Redeemer.

Let me know if there is anything that I could research and write about that you are interested in.
So, I'm back with a purpose!

my blog is dead for awhile

I cannot keep up with blogging. I'm not even sure i like it, therefore I am giving it a rest. (as if my 4 week writing spurts weren't break enough :) )

peace <3

Favorite Season

I love fall and I'm pretty sure I have said that at least a thousand times to everyone around me. This is my dream re-arrangement of the seasons:
Fall, Spring, Summer, Fall, Fall, Fall, and no winter. :) Is there such a place?

Reasons for loving fall:

1. the air just smells better
2. running with a sweatshirt and occasional head-band
3. getting a pumpkin candy holder that I don't put anything into actually
4. the colors of EVERYTHING
5. watching the days become shorter
6. seeing smoke in the air and smelling the 'bon-fire- smell'
7. apple pies up the wa-zoo!
8. Honey-crisp apples (they taste JUST like cidar, ooo yum!)
9. curling up with a blanket on a rainy cold day and staring outside while reading a book
10. hearing the leaves falling when the wind blows
11. hiking the Metro-parks in the middle of all those pretty trees!
12. excitement that is in the air for Thanksgiving and Christmas
13. buying tickets already for our church's Christmas concert
14. having fall parties
15. Halloween! (i can't wait to have kids for this! or at least a house where kids can knock on my door for candy, I will totally dress-up!)
16. cozy pj pants
17. the cool clouds that God makes on the more blustery days
18. this is the season for D and I's bdays and the time of year that we met 4 years ago.

see I can just keep going..... I LOVE FALL!!!!!