ashley.belden

Resting

2011-08-13T20:46:00.000-07:00

Recently, my husband rearranged this hymn, same lyrics, different melody, and I absolutely love it! Rest is something I struggle with aLL. tHE. tIME. Even if I am sleeping, my brain doesn't shut off, and it somehow wakes up with the same worries of this life. Something God is showing me lately is how I don't know how to really rest in Him.

I am talking about a spiritual rest that might and might not give way to even physical, emotional, or mental rest. At least the kind of rest God supplies brings eternal peace, not necessarily a relief from circumstances, but a rest that brings a strong, unbreakable trust in who God is. Jesus has said, "I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst."

These are the questions I started asking myself when thinking through rest:

- Vacation away from home is nice and definitely needed but what does rest look like the other 51 weeks of the year?

- Is my hope resting in who God IS or just on what I think He is DOING? (big difference)

- Do I believe that He is my complete satisfaction or do I just say it in an 'auto-pilot-kind-of-way?'

- Where do my thoughts go when I am by myself (worry, my to-do list, myself, stuff OR am I trusting, hoping in Him, investing in others, serving)

The words to this song capture my thoughts as of lately.........

Jesus I am resting, resting in the Joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness of Thy loving heart.
Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee, and Thy beauty fills my soul,
For by Thy transforming power, Thou hast made me whole.

Simply trusting Thee, Lord Jesus, I behold Thee as Thou art,
And Thy love, so pure, so changeless, satisfies my heart;
Satisfies its deepest longings, meets supplies its every need,
Compasseth me round with blessings; Thine is love indeed!

Ever lift Thy face upon me, as I work and wait for Thee;
Resting 'neath Thy smile, Lord Jesus, earth's dark shadows flee.
Brightness of my Father's glory, sunshine of my Father's face,
Keep me ever trusting, resting; fill me with Thy grace.

The Year of July

2011-07-09T09:59:00.001-07:00

Can't every month for an entire year just be July????

What I love about July:

picnics fresh fruit cheap produce lazy weekends

vacations family hot weather more sightings of the sun

thunder & lightning swimming flip-flops smells of suntan lotion

freckles baseball shorts happier people road-trips

sundresses ice cream (but if I were honest, I eat that year-round)

I love summer.

Can we just sit in the month of July for about 5 months of this year?

I would be grateful every. single. day.

Summerness

2011-06-24T06:56:00.000-07:00

I think it is true..... the older you get the faster time goes. And I hate that. Seriously, I am trying to think of ways to get time to slow down. Maybe if I pitch all my responsibilities, like my job, and sit in a canoe all day on a lake, time would slow down. But that won't be happening soon or maybe ever.

It is already June 24th!!! the 24th!!! And I look at June and ask myself, "What have you done?" I am such a scheduler of my time but have tried to throw the schedule out the door..... and I get nothing accomplished and actually waste a TON of time. So, for me, I need a schedule, it just works for me.

I would like to:

- read The Pleasures of God

- organize all my curriculum for school and start in on it.

- go to a park and be able to read there for a day instead of at my home where I always find something better to do

- get back into writing letters (i used to do this all the time!)

- look for homes to maybe buy at the end of this summer

- play tennis more

- go to a Half-Price Books and look around

- just sit and soak in God's Word

I want to look back at this summer and be able to say I haven't just wasted time, relationships, money, or my mind. This verse comes to my mind- Acts 20:24 But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God."

I want everything I do this summer to bring more glory and honor to God. Laziness is an awful disease and it hinders me from doing just that. Not being able to enjoy what God has given me is something I struggle with, too. So I want to can laziness and embrace contentment this summer so the Lord would be known better.

Date nights

2011-04-17T08:19:00.000-07:00

Drew and I are looking at our summer and we want to really take advantage of the amazing weather, more time with each other, and realizing we want to be more creative for date times. So here are our ideas, feel free to steal for your own!

- Ice cream dates

- Cleveland Indians' games (I will always bring a book along; just in case the game is going... slow hee-hee)

- Go on a day trip to cities around you to explore (Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Columbus, Cincinnati)

- picnic/hike

- bike ride on the towpath

- play tennis weekly

- mini-golf/ or real-golf

- rent a canoe or kayak and go on Portage Lakes

- make dinner based on what was at the local Farmer's Market that morning

- go to the State Fair

Have fun! And if you have any ideas I would gladly welcome them!

He ONLY

2011-02-25T09:30:00.000-08:00

This psalm has left me thinking a lot:

Psalm 62

"for God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.....for my hope is from him.....Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us...."

Aren't there so many distractions in everyday life? I know it is easy for me to get bogged down in the daily distractions whether that is in word, thought, or action. Or if I am discouraged or needing advice, how easy it is for me to go call someone who will comfort me, or agree with me, or at least let me vent. Even the most spiritual looking activities can become distractions if doing them for the praise of men or to "earn my salvation" for the day.

The Lord is so gracious to work through these hurdles throughout the day. He allows me to still learn who he is and how he loves me even through the times I get distracted. I am learning how much I can rely on myself and disguise it even to myself, as if it is actually God. Or I will pray harder and even have other people pray for me in the areas that I think I should have. (As if God is a genie....)

I am comforted by the psalmist's words and I am challenged. Is God my ONLY ROCK I lean upon? Is my hope from Him? Do I trust Him? Do I pour out my heart before Him before turning to my people? Do I believe that He is a refuge unto me?

God is stronger, better, most -satisfying........ but do I really believe that? I am striving to place God back on the throne in these areas of my life that I have almost unknowingly tried to climb into his place. Or I have placed people on his throne thinking that they are my rock or they give me the satisfying hope that only He can give.

So what does that look like everyday for me?

- Asking God for help in the areas that I worry about the most and praying, "Lord, I am handing you this worry, and I give you this worry, and I give this area."

- Praying "Your will be done, Lord"

- Running to Him at all times of the day and "hiding" in Him

- Picturing Him on the throne and how I would never want myself to take His place in ANY way!

- Thinking more upon His character- sovereign, good, loving, just, merciful, gracious, and knows me better than anyone.

- thinking how to honor His name despite hard news or discouraging times

God With Us

2010-12-04T07:22:00.001-08:00

Since it is getting closer to Christmas, I wanted to read the Christmas passages. These passages are so rich in meaning and the fulfillment of the Christ coming as a man, but still very God. As I read, I really want to think upon one of these verses a day because who Christ is and what He did for me is incredible. The birth of Christ shows me 5 things:
1. God really does care about me and about me having a relationship with Him.
2. God hates sin so much that He sent His only Son.
3. God is true to His promises because He has prophesied about the coming of Jesus since Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden.
4. Immanuel means "God with us." Jesus coming to Bethlehem was a very physical manifestation and then he sent His Holy Spirit to be with his believers forever. God is with us even today.
5. I want to be like Anna, who waited eagerly for the coming of the Christ. And in the meantime, I want to be like John the Baptist, who pointed people to Christ for salvation and the forgiveness of their sins.

Here are the passages in case you are interested in reading them throughout this month:
Matthew 1:18-25
Matthew 2
Luke 1
Luke 2

Merry Christmas! Jesus is truly why we celebrate Christmas.

2010-11-25T05:59:00.000-08:00

Sooooo much to be thankful for this year:

- being able to live and breathe without any hindrances
- being able to still run after a hard marathon this year.
- getting to run the marathon with my incredible husband beside me
- both Drew and I love our jobs
- we have never gone hungry one day of our lives
- we have a home to call home
- for the family who very graciously loaned us their extra home for the year.
- being redeemed by Christ and being able to call God, Abba
- my marriage to the most wonderful & godly man ever. He has shown me most clearly what human love should look like
- God's Word, that it is living and active and God still teaches me through it
- the ministry of John Piper, and the committed preaching of God's Word through Him
- both Drew and I's families
- having 2 cars to drive, ...... that work.... :)
- friendships with people from Moody still, who challenge us, encourage us, and lead us back to the cross (Robyn, Suttons, Jonny, Haskins, Rachel, Halbleib, Huffs, LT, and I'm sure I'm forgetting a couple) We LOVED our time with you guys!
- friendships with people here in Akron area (too many to name)
- our church
- my school debt paid off by a gracious and generous person
- my students who teach me everyday about patience, and a simple child-like faith in Christ
- remaining healthy this fall thus far
- Bible study with my ladies, Leader's and non-leaders, love them both so much!

There have got to be so many more, but these are just to name a few specific ones.
I want to always continue this attitude of thanks to God. He is good by taking things away but also giving things to me that I don't deserve. I love the idea that God has taken things away from me for my good and for His glory. He really is good and loving if He cares that much.

Something I want to challenge myself to do today is praise God for who He is using the alphabet- A to Z. (I learned this from a lady that I am very thankful for)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!

To-Do List

2010-11-13T05:59:00.000-08:00

My to-do list in the next few months or so:

1. call my family and close friends more regularly (I am working on getting better at this).
2. get the courage to take Drew to McDonald's (because most people know I LOATHE that place.)
3. Finish the 3 different books that I am not doing well at finishing right now.
4. Plan cheaper monthly meals so I don't go over-budget like I did this year.
5. take more pictures (even though our camera looks like it has been stepped on too much.)
6. try to make it through the whole Jillian Michaels' dvd without feeling like I might faint
7. work on stretching more so I can touch my toes without bouncing
8. hang up my coat when I come home instead of throwing it on the floor.
9. throw our pumpkins out before Christmas (last year I think we received a notice from our apt. complex practically begging us to remove our pumpkins, and that was in January, oops)
10. not freak out with the fact that our free weekends don't begin until the middle of January

What's on your to-do list?

What Does Faith Receive?

2010-11-12T05:43:00.000-08:00

This really convicted me about the idol of 'self', namely myself. Upon becoming a believer in Jesus Christ, do I regard him in my entire life as supremely valuable? Or do I just want what the 'non-believer' wants because it is convenient and easy to do?

Here is an excerpt from "Think":

"Faith saves because it receives Jesus. But we must make clear what this actually means, because there are so many people who say they have received Christ and believed on Christ but show little or no evidence that they are spiritually alive. They are unresponsive to the spiritual beauty of Jesus. They are unmoved by the glories of Christ. They don't have the spirit of apostle Paul when he said,
'I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ" (Phil. 3:8).

One way to describe this problem is to say that when these people "receive Christ," they do not receive him as supremely valuable. They receive him simply as sin-forgiver (because they love being guilt-free), and as rescuer-from-hell (because they love being pain-free), and as healer (because they love being disease-free), and as protector (because they love being safe), and as prosperity-giver (because they love being wealthy), and as creator (because they want a personal universe), and as Lord of history (because they want order and purpose). But they don't receive him as personally and supremely valuable for who he is. .......

They don't receive him as he really is-- more glorious, more beautiful, more wonderful, more satisfying, than everything else in the universe.......

Such a "receiving" of Christ is the kind of receiving an unregenerate, "natural" person can do. This is a kind of "receiving" that requires no change in human nature. You don't have to be born again to love being guilt-free, pain-free, disease-free, safe, and wealthy. All natural men without any spiritual life love these things. But to embrace Jesus as your supreme treasure requires a new nature. No one does this naturally. You must be born again (John 3:3). You must be a new creation in Christ (2 Cor. 5:17; Gal. 6:15). You must be made spiritually alive (Eph. 2:1-4).

Thinking- too much or too little?

2010-11-05T05:59:00.000-07:00

I have been reading "Think" by John Piper the past few weeks and am only a third of the way through but have been deeply encouraged and challenged already. He is examining the role of thinking in a believer's life, how much we should be doing, and is it necessary in our pursuit of God.

Sometimes thinking seems too hard about a particular subject so I just shut my mind off or turn it onto something else. Other times thinking comes quite easily and questions are shooting off in my mind. I believe that God created us with minds, somewhat intelligent minds, and that they shouldn't sit there in neutral all our lives. I am definitely not a genius, nor even close to being one, but there are times when I can't get enough of thinking. But how much is too little and how much is too much? I think there is a healthy balance that is needed or you can become a foolish simpleton or a overbearing, arrogant analyzer.

Here are some quotes from "Think" :

"This book is a plea to embrace serious thinking as a means of loving God and people. It is a plea to reject either-or thinking when it comes to head and heart, thinking and feeling, reason and faith, theology and doxology, mental labor and a ministry of love.
It is a plea to see thinking as a necessary, God-ordained means of knowing God." (p.15)

"Thinking is not an end in itself. Nothing but God himself is finally an end in itself. Thinking is not the goal of life. Thinking, like non-thinking, can be the ground for boasting. Thinking, without prayer, without the Holy Spirit, without obedience, without love, will puff up and destroy. (1Cor. 8:1) But thinking under the mighty hand of God, thinking soaked in prayer, thinking carried by the Holy Spirit, thinking tethered to the Bible, thinking in pursuit of more reasons to praise and proclaim the glories of God, thinking in the service of love-- such thinking is indispensible in a life of fullest praise to God." (p. 27)

"2 Timothy 2:7, where Paul says to Timothy, "Think over what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything." The command is that he think, consider, use his mind to try to understand what he means. And the reason Paul gives for this thinking is this, "For the Lord will give you understanding." Paul does not put these in tension: thinking on the one side and receiving the gift of understanding from God on the one side. They go together. Thinking is essential on the path to understanding. But understanding is a gift of God." (p.30)

20/20 Vision

2010-10-10T13:03:00.000-07:00

Much of our present culture is biblically illiterate or ignorant. Blame it on technology, more self-help books, or just plain laziness. Most of our children's church is made up of a "Disney look-alike contest" and how much we can visually stimulate them within an hour's time.

The basics of the Bible were not meant to be kept away and locked up for only those who go to bible schools or seminaries. The riches of the depth of the glories of Christ were meant for every person who opens His Word seeking Him.

Anytime you are asked a question such as, "What do you think about the poor and what Christians should do?" or "What does it look like to give generously?" or "Should I participate in this activity?" ........ How do you answer those questions?

Is it life experience? Is it what someone else told you? Or is it based on biblical principles?

I think it is okay to answer based on life experience but then go back and think about why you think that way. Is it biblical? Look up verses that come to mind or do a word study. If it is not biblical, then why is it not? And maybe I will have to change my view on something that I have always grown up thinking was right but wasn't based on His Word.

I have been challenged in my thinking life recently and I want to challenge you to put on your "Bible eyes" all the time. Don't take them off like glasses, keep them on, because it is the way that God intends us to see Him and each other. When you give a friend or spouse advice or encouragement, is it biblical? Pray for discernment and patience because the answer may not be there immediately.

Read these verses and see the grand importance and significance of the Word:
2 Timothy 3: 15-17
"and that from childhood you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training for righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work."

Hebrews 4:12
"For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart."

He Loves Me in My Weakness- 26.2 miles later

2010-09-27T17:53:00.000-07:00

(us at the John S. Knight Center getting our gear!)

(the morning of the marathon)

(Us at mile 10. you can see Drew behind the guy that decided to pose for our picture)

2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." (Paul to the Corinthians)

=The summary of the marathon Drew and I ran this past weekend.

Backtracking...... Last December, Drew blurted out that we were going to do the Akron marathon together. I was beyond excited because this had been a dream I have had since we were dating- completing a marathon together. So we signed up in February and everything looked good- 7 months out..... :)

We started really training at the end of May building our mileage up week by week. Drew had never been a runner but he was kicking booty out there each week. I felt pretty good about the whole thing. We were dedicated... getting up at 5am on Saturday mornings in the summer to do our long runs before it became unbearably hot. We carried extra water, packed frozen washcloths, and always a note card of directions so we would know where to go around different towns.

Then September hit. I couldn't believe that there was only 3 weeks left before the big race. I was nervous but excited. Drew was never quite as nervous as me and acted like it was really no big deal. Then this past Friday night came and we went to the Expo to get our gear for the next day. We got our bibs, goodie bags, and sweet Brooks jackets and headed home for our pasta dinner.

Saturday morning- nerves, excitement, chilly fall air, dark until 7am, parking the car just a few blocks from the Starting Line, and walking to our place in the race. We take off and are running towards mile 1 and realize we are going way faster than we should be but still proud of ourselves.

Then we get to about Mile 5 and something in my knee is aching... and it feels like my past ACL surgery is started to re-visit me. I figure it will wear off eventually.... but mile 8 rolls around and it is still there but aching even more loudly. But the people and cheering distracts me until about mile 11 when we start on a 4 mile stint on the Ohio Towpath.... and then there was no crowds and I could feel my knee even more and the pain was seizing my hamstring.

We pull off the path and stretch it out and it lasts for a bit of time but I am already a little discouraged. So much so, that I knew that at mile 15 Drew's family would be there and I thought about calling it quits and letting Drew push forward, but he said we were going to finish this race. Hardest miles ever...... 15-22. 8 miles of walking/running, crying, being frustrated and emotionally/mentally gone. We finished in 5 hours and 3 minutes holding hands across the finish line.

I am crying just thinking about my husband by my side the entire time. He wouldn't ever leave me and I gave him permission to run ahead at least 5 times, but he refused. He insisted that we finish together. He pushed me to finish strong, at one point demanding that I better keep running. and I needed him to do that. He would put his arm around me and constantly ask how I was doing. I cried a couple times in the middle of the race because I was frustrated with the time we would get, sad that my knee was throbbing, and disappointed in myself and the fact that Drew would have to get a bad time because of me. Then I cried a good 3 times towards the end of the race realizing how incredible my husband is for sticking next to me the entire time.

I didn't get my 'dream time' and I didn't finish as nicely as I would have liked but God in His extreme mercy showed me a new love and strength to me by giving me such a determined husband and for even allowing me to finish. He really does love me, He allowed me to know Him even better despite this injury. He allowed me to be weak so that I would know His strength and I take comfort in that. He is good and He knows me better because He is my Creator. He also strengthened Drew and I's marriage in such a unique way. I am more in love with my husband as a result.

God is my strength and my rock. He is faithful to His promises. He is love.
He loves me. This I am more sure of than I ever have been before.

Listening

2010-09-19T05:19:00.000-07:00

Do you pretend- listen? I have before and it's not good, right? Someone is sharing their heart and here is the list of options I usually try and throw out:

1. nodding my head profusely
2. saying "uh-huh, uh-huh, I totally agree"
3. thinking while they talk about the next 'inspiring' tid-bit to share.
4. reminding them of an experience i went through and assuming that we can both relate to either.
5. I start diagnosing the problem, adding fuel to the fire

Recently, I was reminded by my husband about the importance of just listening and actually hearing that person. Then I remember Jill Briscoe speaking at a chapel in college and she talked about 'a ministry of presence.'

In the past week, I have been on the side of 'being listened to,' twice. It really feels like the persons cared about what I was saying, listened to me all the way through, there was silence, more silence, and more and then they affirmed me in who I am in Christ. There was hardly a mention of my problem or my rantings but they brought it back to my identity in Christ, which was incredible 'advice' to me.

They didn't assume anything about me, they listened.
They didn't make a laundry list for me on how to make this problem go away.
They didn't assume that we have been in the same place and try to fit me in that box.

James 1:19-20 " Know this, beloved brothers; let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness that God requires."

And you know how I know God is listening? He brings an overwhelming peace, a sense of His love, and allows me to rest in Him with anything I bring to Him. He does not bring guilt or a spirit of condemnation to those who are His, He does not bring anxiety or unrest.

James 3:17 "But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere."

I want to listen like that.

Our Home

2010-09-01T17:35:00.000-07:00

Drew and I are moved out of our beloved apartment in Stow, Ohio and jumped to the next town to live for a year. We are trusting the Lord with this year and if He wills we will hopefully buy a home.

It is crazy how much time looking at homes online can consume my time. And then, add watching HouseHunters in the mix of time, and then not have I only wasted time but now I can begin to covet bigger homes with newer and more shiny things.

Honestly, I want this year to be one that we can be generous: with our time, money, and resources. So much thought about buying a home can make me want to 'hunker-down' on the finances, miss out on spending time with people, and just make me greedy in many areas of my life.

And I'm thinking...... that's NOT what I am supposed to be because so many passages in Scripture talk about giving, being generous, giving willingly, and living like Christ. Who, if I remember right, Christ never bought a home and I am positive he never worried about the fact that he really didn't have a home on this earth.

And then, I remember that my real home is with Him. I know people will say, "Well, it's not wrong to want things on this earth." Honestly, my problem is ---- I KNOW THAT ALL TOO WELL. and I want my earthly home more than I want my heavenly home. I want the earthly toys more than I want to grow in my likeness to my Father.

Gosh, sometimes it is SO hard to remember this. This is a season in my life where this just falls naturally in place with the "recipe of life"- go to college, graduate, get married, work, buy a home, have children, and on and on..... People around me are having babies, buying homes, and getting bigger toys than me.

I confess to my Father for my greed, discontentment, and selfishness and ask His forgiveness. I want to rejoice every day and not have to think once about the fact that I don't have this or that. I want to bask in the gift of redemption that He has given to me. I want to have an attitude of thankfulness and continuously remember his faithfulness.

Just this week, we got a flat tire and ended up replacing 2 tires. Gulp. Tires are expensive, who knew? Instead of thanking God for keeping us safe, the fact that we even get to have a car, for the money to pay for the tires, instead I became upset and pouted about spending that money when we could have had that for something else. I really was a brat.

My husband, has a line in one of his songs, "This world is not my home.... I'm just passing through.... My eyes are on the city paved of gold...." These things will all burn but have I lived a life honoring to God in faithful obedience? I strive to rest more in Him and less in myself.

Last Year

2010-08-22T05:17:00.000-07:00

I always evaluate my year from September to September and I think it has something to do with it being school-time again, my birthday and anniversary are then, and fall gets crazy.

This time last year, I was a little nervous about the next year but knew that God would provide in many ways and He did.

1. Last September, Drew and I celebrated 2 years of marriage. I love love love my drewbie and I couldn't have gotten a better husband if I had tried! The Lord knew all our little idiosyncrasies and He made us to compliment each other. My favorite time is usually when we are able to study the Word in the mornings separately, but then at the end we just talk and talk about what we just read. I just found a prayer journal from the year we started dating (2005) and it was so sweet to have that to look back at and remember the sweet joys of dating.

2. Drew was an intern last year and we were sufficiently surviving on our incomes. It's really all about contentment in the end anyways whether you have $1 million or $100. God is continuing to teach me about that every month.

3. I got sick, alot..... and it wasn't fun. God is teaching me patience and dependence on Him as the new allergy season approaches this fall.

4. I really love my 2 jobs. I am so thankful to God that I get to work at a place that encourages me spiritually but I also get to love on and encourage my kiddos.

5. Drew, beginning in January, became full-time at our church! And then, what do you know, our car broke down completely. Again, our money is not ours, it is His. We can make plans to spend or save it this or that way but in the end we are just not really in control.

6. We babysat 3 times last year, each family had 3 kids. I learned a different dependence on my Savior in those times of trying to get people places and realizing trying to get 3 extra bodies out the door is more of a challenge than originally thought. A huge praise to God for allowing me to work through many of my insecurities in this area, so much so, that just last week when we babysat, I was so at peace.

7. Change is good. We are moving this week to another temporary place for a year. Again, God provided in a huge way to allow us a really cute place to stay for this year. Then we will evaluate and see if a house is the best next option for us this time next year.

8. This next one makes me tear up every time I think about it: my school debt was paid for by an incredible person(s). I will never forget that day when Drew called me and said, "You're never going to believe what I have to tell you." I cried and cried and cried. I STILL can't believe that the balance is ZERO. I go online every now and then to stare at the ZERO. Thank you, God, for that person's generous heart and their love for you to do this for us. What a huge and extremely tangible answer to my prayers for the past 5 years.

9. Training for this marathon is a great reminder to me of my walk with Christ. There are some weeks where we do less mileage and I think, "Oh, I don't really need to stretch for this run, I'll be fine. I don't need to do this because I did more last week." But those runs tend to be harder than the really long ones because I haven't surrendered myself to the Lord and the strength He is able to supply. Drew and I are running 18 tomorrow morning and already I'm a little weak in the knees just thinking about it, but I know God will supply the right amount of strength needed. I will still be exhausted at some points and may even need to walk but that is ok and I know His strength is still there with me.

10. I need His Word. I want the gospel to saturate my entire life, my speech, and my thoughts. This year, I feel like His Word has become more refreshing to me, my desire to study His Word is stronger, and I want to live it out. My God is good, He wants me to depend on Him instead of trying to be in control, and He is my Rock. I really can't do anything without Him and that seems to be a common thread that I have seen throughout last year.

This year, I have no idea what the Lord holds for me but I know He will be faithful to make me more like Him.

Wise Words

2010-08-02T05:23:00.000-07:00

Here are a few quotes from Christianity for Modern Pagans- Pascal's Pensees edited, outlined, and explained by Peter Kreeft:
(some quotes you will need to read 3 or 4 times to understand it but trust me, you want to understand what they are saying, SO important...)

>In the past , the difficulty in accepting Christianity was its second point, salvation. Everyone in premodern societies knew sin was real, but many doubted salvation. Today it is the exact opposite: everybody is saved, but there is no sin to be saved from.

>Pride can never defeat pride; only humility can defeat pride.

>We are incapable of not desiring truth and happiness and incapable of either certainty or happiness.

>It is instructive to compare Job and Ecclesiastes. For this is the comparison between ancient and modern man. Ecclesiastes, like modern man, has everything, yet has nothing because it is only "vanity." Job, like ancient man, has nothing but has everything because he has God.

>The explanation is obvious: if you don't know the true God, you must sooner or later find some false god to worship. To be human is to worship. The alternative to theism is not atheism but idolatry.

>Man must not be allowed to believe that he is equal either to animals or angels, nor to be unaware of either, but he must know both......modern philosophy has lost its sane anthropology because it has lost its cosmology. Man does not know himself because he does not know his place in the cosmos; he confuses himself with angel or with animal.

Funny stories

2010-07-28T08:16:00.000-07:00

The family I tutor for has 3 kids; ages 7, 5, and 3. The littlest one is a girl and she always cracks me up. She had a hotdog on a fishing pole and caught a 100- lb dog with it! Unfortunately, the hook got a little stuck in the doggie's mouth, all is well now though!

The 5 year old wanted a wasp's nest that happened to be in their mailbox. Mom kept telling him no because he could get stung. He was determined to get it out and he did, all without getting stung. He is so proud now to tell that story.

This morning, Drew was leaving and needing to get something out of the car he was not going to be driving. I told him to throw the key up when he was done and I would catch it. Mind you, our apartment is on the 3rd floor. He threw it, i couldn't grab it, and it landed on our neighbor's porch on the 2nd floor. I thought I might be able to climb down but at the last minute wondered how I would get back down or up, no good. So Drew grabbed a camping chair and I threw him a broom. I cannot stop laughing and at this point Drew is getting a little frustrated with me, because I can hardly talk to give him directions, right, no, go left! I am laughing so hard!
Then low and behold, some of the maintenance guys walk by and I'm sure were scratching their heads at the scene before their eyes. Do they ask us for help, not a chance!
I grab a sturdier chair from upstairs, Drew grabs a golf club and tries to retrieve the key again.
VICTORY!!!!
Lesson learned.

Making lunches for Drew is always interesting. I'm not a snacker, so we just don't have snacks in the house. So when I make his lunch, it's left-overs, pb & j, maybe some fruit, if he's lucky chips, and if a miracle has happened, I've made some cookies. I always use Target bags, or any bag from the stores I've gone to. Well, he was in a hurry one day, and I stuffed his lunch into one of those flimsy fruit bags, the ones you put your fruit in at the grocery store. And it gets worse, it had a giant hole and I knew it but didn't say anything. Needless to say, he lost his lunch on the church stairs, his actual lunch came rolling out of the bag. He called me right after and we just laughed and laughed.

Hope this helps your day and makes you laugh, too!

True Rest is Soul Rest

2010-07-26T05:26:00.000-07:00

I love being a teacher for a million reasons, one of them just happens to include:

SUMMER VACATION!!!!!

This summer has been the most different summer I have ever had. It is physically and spiritually restful. Matthew 11:28-29 comes to mind:

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

This verse is specifically talking about SOUL REST no matter what season of life you are in; busy or not-so-busy. For me, during the school year there are so many things for me to focus on other than finding my peace and satisfaction in Christ. I was reminded last night by our speaker at church, am I really relying on the Holy Spirit or Ashley?

This summer has been quiet, not busy, do-whatever-i-want-everyday, and pick up things I really enjoy. As strange as this will sound, it was hard to learn how to do this. I don't like days of quietness because I can hear my restlessness inwardly. It's awkward. But you know what I have needed that God has been trying to show me before now: my sin, His grace and love, and how to genuinely rest in Him.

The Holy Spirit is convicting me of sin, He is helping me to first confess it! This is hard even to confess sin sometimes! First, I HAVE to recognize my sin to see just how much I really need my Savior Jesus Christ.

I know that school is getting closer, the usual fall busyness will come, and life will seem a little hectic at times, but what God is teaching me this summer, I want to carry with me throughout the school year. I want to rest in Him, worry is a sin, but I want my soul to rest in Him.

Here is what He has allowed me to do this summer because it is so restful:
- Read (for hours)
- write notes again
- spend longer time with people, I never have to rush off
- be with my husband on his day off and sleep in
- sufficiently train for the marathon
- be available for people
- clean out the corners of our apt.
- enjoy the sounds of the morning without rushing anywhere
- getting to know the family I tutor for even better (love that family!)
- preparing for the '10-'11 school year
- sit outside
- go on vacation

I know this is just for a season. And I will try to not forget all the time He gave me, when the fall hits. But I ALWAYS want to remember to lean on Him, to place my entire trust in Him, to be still and listen, and to be thankful for the small things in life.

Summer Reads

2010-07-21T04:37:00.000-07:00

* Because He Loves Me- Elyse Fitzpatrick
How the gospel transforms our everyday lives. I loved this book because she really boiled down our action vs God's actions in our process of sanctification.

* Les Miserables- Victor Hugo
Still have 400 pgs to go, this book is LONG! But worth every word in its unabridged 1400 pg. self. I have even underlined quotes in this book. Besides all the French revolution history, the plot is encouraging, showing you how the most unloved, and miserable people walk through life as their lives intertwine together.
"Oh Thou who art! Ecclesiastes names thee the Almighty; Maccabees names thee Creator; the Epistle to the Ephesians names thee Liberty; Baruch names thee Immensity; the Psalms name thee Wisdom and Truth; John names thee Light; the Book of Kings names thee Lord; Exodus calls thee Providence......"

* Humility- Andrew Murray
Just started, he is a Puritan, so this guy doesn't just say things to talk; and obviously, the title of his book.
"If Jesus is indeed to be our example in His humility, we need to understand the principles in which is was rooted. We need to find the common ground on which we stand with Him, and in which our likeness to Him is to be attained."

* Christianity for Modern Pagans: Pascal's Pensees- Blaise Pascal & Peter Kreeft
Just started this one. At first I wasn't jumping up and down, but the way Kreeft has edited, outlined, and explained each section of what Pascal says, makes it easy for people like me! Kreeft claims Pascal is the most effective Christian apologist and evangelist to today's culture.
"Not only do we only know God through Jesus Christ, but we only know ourselves through Jesus Christ; we only know life and death through Jesus Christ. Apart from Jesus Christ we cannot know the meaning of our life or our death, of God, or of ourselves."

These are great reads, I encourage you to get them, too!

2010 Running Lessons

2010-07-06T16:42:00.000-07:00

Here are some tips that I have learned even this year from training for this race:

1. stretch, stretch, and more stretch! Stretch before you run, right after you run, and the day after you run. Try stretching everyday.
2. If you get shin splints or some type of muscle tear, just wait 3-4 days before running. Don't rush or it will get worse, did that and it was awful! During the wait, you can eliptical or walk and work on upper body.
3. the stronger the abs, the stronger you might run ( i still need to work harder on this one)
4. It's all a mind-game. Bring scripture, music, prayer cards, etc.
5. Smile or talk to yourself when you feel like giving up. I tell myself, "Don't be a wimp, c'mon!" (and sometimes I'll clap to get myself going, i look funny, yes.)
6. Don't run if you have a sinus-infection or any congestion in the head (it might be just me, but the last 2 times I have come down with migraines, blech)
7. Find someone to hold you accountable. Drew is that for me right now because we are both training for the same race.
8. If you are running for more than 10 miles, bring a 'baby-Gatorade' on your run because it could really energize you throughout your run.
9. mapmyrun.com (AWESOME site!)
10. Buy shorts that have a tiny pocket on the inside of the shorts to store a car or house key. That way you don't have to hold anything while you run.

Goals I have (Lord-willing):
1. I want to get faster. I would like to run 10:00 miles throughout the entire marathon. Idealistically, I want to run 9:45 miles but I have to think realistically.
2. I will be doing more calisthenics to work on my speed.
3. Doing 100-150 situps/ab-work every other day.
4. From here on out on all my runs, no walking, unless I have a serious injury or migraine.
5. Do hill-work 1-2 times per week.

Prayer for:
1. Drew and I's health. I have had so many colds this year and last that I get so nervous that I will get one the day of the marathon and not be able to complete it. Please pray for this one the most!!!
2. Stamina of heart, mind, and muscles. Even though I am only 26 soon to be 27, I run very different compared to the marathon I did just 5 years ago. (I'm slower and not as strong)
3. That all this running would glorify God and draw me closer to Him.

He is Greater Than......

2010-07-04T07:39:00.000-07:00

This summer I am spending my study times in the gospels. I have it mapped out for the whole summer and I am way behind already. John Piper really encouraged me in one of his sermons that if I legitimately desired to know my Savior better, I should be pouring my life into the 4 gospels. How incredible is it that we have FOUR accounts of our Savior's life, teachings, and his response to mankind?

I was studying in Matthew 12 and the phrase, "Something greater than....." is repeated 3 times. Jesus is speaking to the Pharisees after they ask if it is lawful for Jesus to pick grain on the Sabbath and also to heal a man on the Sabbath. HANG WITH ME!!!!

The Pharisees were acting as if THEY were the authority and the way to God and Jesus is letting them know that they aren't. This is where those 3 phrases of "something greater than..." come into play.

1. I tell you, something greater than the temple is here.
2. And behold, something greater than Jonah is here.
3. And behold, something greater than Solomon is here.

Greater than:

The Temple

The temple allowed access to God in a very specific place and time.
Jesus is allows believers access to God through the Holy Spirit in our BODILY temples. Worship unto God is not limited to time and place anymore!

Jonah

Jonah suffered punishment due to his disobedience towards God 3 days and 3 nights in the belly of a whale.
Jesus suffered on the cross 3 days and 3 nights for the sins of the world but He was perfect, spotless, HOLY!

Solomon
Solomon was prized for having great wealth and wisdom. Solomon disobeyed and ran after foreign wives and God sent Solomon's enemies after him.
Jesus holds an eternal inheritance for his believers. It is perfect, uninterrupted worship of God in His presence. As part of the Trinity, Jesus had a role in creating this entire earth and unto which He deserves all praise and honor for a restored relationship back to our Father.

Jesus is greater than our boundaries that we seem to place on worshiping Him.
Jesus is greater than our sin and defeated all of death.
Jesus is greater than the earth's possessions and all that it has to offer.

Is Jesus greater than you?

Florida; Part 2

2010-06-24T13:42:00.000-07:00

{Yes, we did look like the Clampets driving down the road, but like I said, it was the best way to travel to the beach}

{One of the meals we ate together. Chicken Kebabs, bread, and fruit, yum!}

{Emma insisted on taking our picture and told us to wave at the camera. This was by far the hottest day there}

{Nobody was using these chairs, so we decided to take a picture in them.}

{Drew and I floating in the ocean. The water had a lot of algae in it. Usually the water was clear but certain sections were very green.}

{After the beach we would always go and jump in the pool. and normally you jump in a pool to cool off, but this water was at least 80-85 degrees; a little toasty.}

{The Hancheys and the Beldens}

Seagrove Beach

2010-06-19T17:02:00.000-07:00

Rest is a beautiful thing. To go away, to turn off the daily 'noise', and to rest is a treat. Drew and I have been on little trips to visit friends and family but not really AWAY away for a long time, since our honeymoon. It was sooooooooooo good to say goodbye to facebook for awhile, turn off my cell phone, read books, and just sit and listen in the stillness to what God is saying.

Here are some of the highlights of the trip in no particular order:
1. Golf Cart to the Beach!!!

{This was a treat to have! We were tying floaties to the top, packing it down with chairs, towels galore, and of course SNACKS!}

#2: Sand chairs are one of the best beach inventions.

{See that blue chair with the yellow towel? That is a beautiful little chair! We could pull ourselves right up to the waves, getting our feet wet, while reading to the sound of the ocean waves.}

#3: Reading, reading, and more reading.

{I am reading Les Miserables
and Drew is reading a book on Jonathan Edwards}

#4: Getting to hang out with my best friend 24-7!
{Oh and did I mention that I love this guy? He encourages me spiritually, emotionally, loves me so much, and is more than I ever prayed for}

#5: Still have to train for that marathon even though we're on vacation.
{Can I just say that it was so stinkn' humid and toasty it about sucked the life out of me just walking. We were supposed to run 4 times but shhhh... don't tell we only ran 3 days. The last day we ran 9 miles. I had to walk a little, was in desperate need of water, and stuck my head under a beach shower to relieve myself of the heat. Drew ran at 3pm! CRAZY! So I made sure he was doing okay and drove up and down the roads to keep my eye on him.}

#6: Favorite night- Date night in Seagrove, Seaside, and Destin.
{We ate awesome steak at The Old Florida Fish House, drove to the Silver Sands Outlet Mall and got a few goodies, got ice cream sundaes, and sat in the dark in 2 white, wooden rocking chairs, listening to a live outdoor band. Then there was thunder and lightning at the beach, so we drove to the beach and in complete darkness watched listened as the storm rolled in. Then every night seemed to end in Dan, Michelle, Drew and I watching House Hunters.}

#7: The night at the beach renewing Dan & Michelle's wedding vows.
{So maybe this picture doesn't depict this night exactly but Michelle has a bunch of pix. Drew renewed their vows, Dan sang, and I took photos. The girls were so cute in their little dresses and all Ava wanted to do was throw her bucket of seashells into the ocean.}

#8: Seeing this scene everyday. It will never grow old to me.
{We came almost everyday. The beaches were very quiet and not crowded at all! The oil leak has scared many people away from this area. It felt like our own private little beach at times.}

I will post more later!

What Do I Love? or Who Do I Love?

2010-06-10T05:19:00.000-07:00

First John 2:15-17 was such a good reminder for me this morning:

"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world- the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions- is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever."

Too often, I allow the world and all its empty promises of fulfillment and complete satisfaction, to infiltrate my mind. I want to feel important or of some worth, so I go to my favorite store and buy just a "little something" to fill that void of importance or worth. I am feeling a little down about myself so in order to make myself feel and look better, I am willing to flatten someone else's character, even if it's not verbal but I can be thinking it.

I am forgetting the gospel in those moments. I am forgetting that I am a daughter of the King and that He has cleansed and redeemed me, and that alone is where I should rest. I couldn't have dug out of my debt of sin for a 1,000 or 1,000,000 days in order to be free. I can't, but He did.

My clothes will fade away, that kitchen tool that I've always wanted will go out of style, my car will eventually croak, but Jesus, the gospel, and His Word will always remain! They never change and that is reason enough and ever to rest in Him forever.

Wimps Not Allowed

2010-05-29T13:20:00.000-07:00

Recently I have heard more stories than I have wanted about seemingly strong believers in Christ walking away from the faith and living in their sin comfortably. Some of them I knew better than others and that is hard to swallow. It is actually very discouraging and it grieves my heart. I asked myself, "How did they get there? What did they begin to compromise early on that seemed like no big deal?"

It led me to really question myself about my love for Jesus. Do I really love him? Do I love the truth in His Word? I think that at the root of sin is unbelief. Unbelief in who God has said He is. Unbelief that He will act on His promises. When I worry, I doubt God and His goodness or His plan for me.

Then I opened to 2 Timothy. Paul is facing execution and he writes this letter to Timothy, who has been like a mentoree to Paul. Paul gives a few names of people who were seemingly following Christ and His truth and then walked away. He reminds him to:

* be strengthened by the grace of Christ Jesus
* By the Holy Spirit who dwells within us, guard the good deposit entrusted to you
* If we have died with him, we will also live with him,; if we endure; we will also reign with him; if we deny him, he also will deny us; if we are faithless, he remains faithful------- for he cannot deny himself.
* Let everyone who names the name of the Lord depart from iniquity.
* There are people who are burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, always learning and never able to arrive at the knowledge of the truth.
*Continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed
* All Scripture is breathed out by God...... that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.
* I have finished the race and have kept the faith

I think God sovereignly woke me up today to remind me to remain steadfast in Him, His Word, and in the fellowship of His people. There will always be appealing offers to walk away but they will lead to a Christ-less life and I cannot live without Him. Don't compromise your love for your Savior for anything; it just doesn't seem work it.

3 days and 3 nights

2010-05-27T04:58:00.000-07:00

Another lesson titled, "I'm not in Control," again. Sheesh, I thought I learned this one. One thing you must know about me before I go on: I LOVE sleep! Since the first week of me being an infant I have loved sleep. My mom even called the doctor because she was worried something was wrong with me because I slept so much. I am a morning person and usually go to bed no later than 11pm. If I have missed my special amount of sleep, another person gets inside of me and starts acting deranged. :)

So this leads us to last Sunday night, I go to bed just like every other night. And I don't sleep. I may have gotten 3-4ish hours on and off. I wake up feeling awful and having to work. I'm formulating all kinds of theories as to why I didn't sleep: "maybe it was the Lost finale, maybe I have a major sin issue in my life, do I have something stressful in my life right now that I'm not willing to face...." The possibilities went on and on. And then Monday night......

I didn't sleep. At this point I'm so tired but my body just won't let me go to sleep. My heart is pounding. I'm uber frustrated that I'm not just falling asleep and I'm watching my husband sink into a fast sleep and looking so peaceful. I did everything to try and fall asleep. I even called my dad and he insisted I wasn't sleeping because I missed him. I may have slept on and off for 5 hours not really getting that deep sleep though. The next morning I felt alive and awake though. My coworkers were making all kinds of theories for me as to why I wasn't sleeping and as always because I'm married and at the age that I am, the pregnancy theory always came to the forefront. Just so you don't skim to the bottom and get disappointed, I'm not pregnant. :) I checked.

So by Tuesday, I'm feeling super-human-like. I'm living life, I'm not grouchy, and I'm surviving on very little amounts of sleep. I had told God that maybe sleep had become an idol and I had stopped relying on him for most of my everyday/every second functions. Then came Tuesday night, I look awful by now. I'm with a group of ladies and I have the deepest purple bags under my eyes. I'm pretty much falling asleep while with them and trying hard not to. They insist I go home and go to bed.

Same story, couldn't fall asleep. I begin crying, Drew's losing sleep because of me now, my mother-in-law tries to calm me down and prays for me. She concludes that my nerves have taken over by now and they are not letting me sleep. She tells me that I must surrender even my nerves to the Lord and trust Him whether I do or don't get sleep. I finally fall asleep for about 6 hours on and off. I'm smelling the end by now.

Wednesday I have several people praying for me to be able to sleep that night. I felt totally calm all day until 2 hours before I'm going to bed. I felt the nerves come back. I continuously surrendered my nerves up to God. Then I saw a verse I had written down, "You restore me o, Lord. Lead me in the way of righteousness." Those 2 words, "Lead me," stuck out instantly. I wasn't letting my Savior lead me. I have always been in control of myself, or so I thought. Anytime something physical would happen I would immediately worry and I would try to conjure up a plan to restore myself. So anytime I felt those nerves start to creep up, I knew it was my controlling nature that was trying to control the situation and I just repeated over and over, "You restore me, You lead me; not me."

And Wednesday night, I SLEPT FOR ALMOST 9 HOURS!!!!! I am so weak today but I am starting to understand and actually want God to be in control of me. Before, I wanted Him to but I faked myself out by putting myself in charge and telling myself it was God. I surrender all to You, Lord.

Living For the Eternal

2010-05-18T17:52:00.000-07:00

This is one of the hardest things to do because we feel like temporary beings. But we're not, we will live somewhere eternally after our earthly death. God's Word says things like:

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth.... for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also....... each man's work will become evident; for the day will show it because it is to be revealed with fire, and the fire itself will show will test the quality of each man's work.....being always of good courage, and knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord...."

Christ is my purpose for living. God has made each day new. He holds my every breath in his hand. Christ has made me a new creature and I am His.

So why do I think and choose activities everyday that sometimes do not reflect this amazing truth? Because I am selfish, WAY too independent, and controlling. Isn't this a joke to trade my Father's precious gifts to me for MY wishes and wants. And it really only buys me about 1 hour of happiness, if even that much.

I want to drink in more of His Word instead of this world. I don't want to just know His Word, although that is wonderful, I want to LOVE His Word. I want to love His Word and His truth. A love for Him and His truth will affect everything else I choose to do.

I have been budgeting for the summer, for a couple trips Drew and I are taking, planning meals, and bought some summer clothes. These things are good to do and fun sometimes but I never want them to become something I do just for the here and now. What I do now and how I spend my days matters.

If I am living just for this earth, I am going to be more concerned with people's approval than God's truth.
If I am living just for this earth, I am going to be more concerned with possessions rather than loving and giving generously.
If I am living just for this earth, that is just silly. If you don't know if you believe all this, or God, or in Jesus Christ, or what His truth is, let's talk.

Thank you Christ for giving me life, purpose, hope, and every day to live for you.

Pressure

2010-05-07T06:27:00.000-07:00

Sinus pressure. This year has been the absolute WORST for my sinuses and I don't have any good reasons. Back in September Drew and I were perpetually sick until November, then I carried into November, having bronchitis. I was never 100% all through December, maybe a week at a time. Then in January, I had another bout of bronchitis and a sinus infection. I was actually feeling okay from February-March until the nice weather started to kick in. Then came allergies. By Easter I was back to having some serious sinus problems. And now, my head is about to pop off and I spent the last 2 nights sleeping upright thinking it would help.

I'm going to the doctor but it is so frustrating. Going to the doctor and experimenting with different medicines isn't cheap. I love to be outside and run but lately I have been hating the spring because I haven't been able to really enjoy it. I'm just not used to being sick so much in a year.

I think God is showing me that I'm not in control again. But he's not doing it in a way of torture, I know that. Every time this happens, my temper flares, and I get so impatient. But I think I am now starting to ask myself, "How are you going to react even when you don't feel good?" That is a struggle for me when I feel so out of my body. Will I praise Him and be willing to encourage others despite these rounds of sickness? I also know there are people in many worse circumstances than me and I shouldn't complain. And there are people who have responded much more Christ-like and loving in their illness than me.

I really want to use this time and see that God just needs me to rest in Him. I need to stop denying that I am sick, go to the doctor right away, and just take the time off I need to get well. My pride really stands in the way sometimes.

or maybe..... God wants us to move to a warmer location.... hmmm..... :) I am thankful to be reminded again that God knows my body, he created me, and I am just clearly not in control.

Who am I?

2010-04-25T14:38:00.001-07:00

Do you ever have days that you're not quite sure who you want to be? Or maybe you're curious how you got to be where you are now. Or maybe you wonder why you have so many odd mannerisms...... I do. This weekend was one of the last weekends to say good-bye to my parents and brother before they move back to Kansas City, MO (where I grew up). Then I was just helping at a wedding shower and the couple lives in KCMO. And then I've had repeated dreams about my hometown. So after all that, I started thinking, who am I, where am I, and what am I?

Why do I love storms, lightning, tornadoes, and thunder so much? Why do I torture my husband by taking my socks off and wherever they land is where they seem to stay until he so graciously picks them up? What is so intriguing about edged yards?

Why did I get so excited when a Sonic was built about 20 mins from me? Why do I know people by their vehicles? Why do I love to correct people when they talk about me being from Kansas? (btw, I'm from MISSOURI!!) Did you know that Missouri borders 8 states? I have work/school-clothes and play-clothes (this goes WAY back).

I rarely fold my clothes inside my dresser, no need. I have 6 junk drawers. My pantry must always have choc. chips, pb., and tortillas for the perfect afternoon snack. The evening news is usually my background noise for making dinner. I make myself do "chores" before I'm allowed to do any of my fun stuff after I get home from work.

I still love mail, even though I think I'm supposed to hate it by now. Every now and then, I sneak a listen to the country music station. I haven't quite figured out which accent I have yet, but I think the Ohio one is getting stronger. I read more southern than I talk, hmmm...

I am a girl from Smithville, MO. met my love in Chicago, and moved to Stow, Ohio to live happily ever after with him. I wonder if we will get to stay here or if we will move. I'm kinda liking it here so far, I think we should stay.

Because He Loves Me

2010-04-22T19:26:00.000-07:00

Quotes from "Because He Loves Me: How Christ Transforms Our Daily Life" by Elyse M. Fitzpatrick:

"One very common form of physical amnesia is caused by the over-consumption of alcohol. When a person drinks to the point of drunkenness, he is liable to forget what he has done or even how he got home. In like manner, I think that most of us have spiritual amnesia because of what we've been drinking. I believe that we all have had such a deep draught from the fountains of worldly wisdom that it's quite common for us to forget how the truths we hear in church on Sunday morning apply to our daily lives.....

"There has been a disconnect between our stated beliefs- my identity is that I'm one who's been loved immeasurably by God and am one with him- and our practical beliefs- my identity and self-worth are determined by whether I am popular, respected, a winner, and well-fed- is alcohol induced; it's caused by our willful consumption of the intoxicating "wisdoms" of the world. Rather than being inebriated with God's mercy, grace, and Spirit (Eph. 5:18) we're staggering around under the misconception that we really do need to love, accept, and respect ourselves to make it through the day. ....

"It's in these ways..... that we forget who we are: incalculably sinful men and women who are loved immeasurably by an infinitely holy God. We also forget how we are called to respond: in grateful obedience. .......Everything that needed to be done for us has been done. We don't need to fight to gain his love and acceptance."

Should a Christian Read Harry Potter?

2010-04-18T12:08:00.000-07:00

I have been hesitating to write this blog a little because it is highly controversial within Christianity for valid enough reasons. I just finished reading the last book in the Harry Potter series and I have seen all the movies except for the movies yet to be released on "The Deathly Hallows."

First, I will present the Scripture. Secondly, I will argue for and against Harry Potter. Lastly, I will share what I thought and if I will read these books to my children.

1.
Deuteronomy 18:10-12 "There shall not be found among you anyone who burns his son of his daughter as an offering, anyone who practices divination or tells fortunes or interprets omens, or a sorcerer or a charmer or a medium or a necromancer or one who inquires of the dead, for whoever does those things is an abomination to the Lord....."

Ephesian 5:19a, 20a, 21b "Now the works of the flesh are evident....sorcery.....I warn you, as I have warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God."

These verses point out the dangers and disobedience to those who practice such things. My question: Are we practicing by reading? I think it is tied up in a whole ball of wax. Obviously I think that practicing witchcraft or trying to contact the dead is wrong. But what was JK Rowlings purpose in writing these books? Once that is established we have to see that JK Rowling wasn't actually writing a "How-To Guide" on Wizardry. She was creating a imaginative playground for people. The way she describes a situation is in such exquisite detail; she is talented. There are forces of good and evil , Rowling writes Harry always having to choose between good vs. evil or selfish desires vs. necessary/sacrificial means. There is something redeemable in this series.

2.
FOR
*Wizardry is not the main focus of Harry Potter, although it is the world that Harry lives in.
*Love is a huge theme that Dumbledore is constantly distinguishing Harry(good) from Voldemort(bad).
* Harry has 2 very loyal friends that are constantly fighting for the good and eventually gain many more willing to fight for the good cause.
*Harry is not held up as a perfect character, actually almost the opposite. He must learn most of his knowledge from special lessons with Dumbledore.
* There is a strong parent-child relationship building through out the books-----
Harry------> Dumbledore, his interest in his parents who are deceased, Hagrid, the Weasleys
AGAINST
*There is some inappropriate language in the books if they are being read by children.
* Harry does show disrespect to certain professors and to his aunt an uncle.

3.
Personally, I love these books. I know that her intent wasn't biblical but I definitely noticed many ties between Harry Potter and our spiritual lives. I think whatever we choose to read we need to read through a biblical lens and to allow the Holy Spirit to teach us. I would not read these books to my children until:
- they were mature enough to know the difference between fantasy and real.
- they are able to understand good vs. bad
- they have an understanding of our sin nature and the ways of Christ

After each chapter I would want to:
- discuss right vs. wrong
- point out examples of how it can pertain to our spiritual lives
- remind them that this is again not real but something that is able to point out truths into our lives at times.

What do you think of Harry Potter?

FREE from the Love of Money

2010-03-28T06:25:00.000-07:00

That phrase strikes me as odd and amazing all at the same time. I love that it uses, "free" to describe our attitude regarding money. This attitude towards money, possessions, and our lives shouldn't have to cost our spiritual souls anything. If we are NOT free from the love of money, our souls feel in constant bondage to this earth, coveting what others have, and stock-piling for ourselves and not giving generously.

If we are FREE from the love of money, it will not be our focus, I will begin to view each penny as a gift from God not a rite I have, and I will be able to give without batting an eye.

BUT, what is the KEY to being free from the love of money......

CONTENTMENT

If I am content I will thank God profusely for what He has already given me, I will not be lusting for others' material possessions, I will view stuff as 'stuff' be reminded that it will all burn up someday, and I will live more in the present rather than in the future, making the most of each day unto the Lord.

God is showing me just how peaceful and restful abiding in Him really is. Somehow, my crazy mind thinks that I must still work for His approval and for others. I have been bought with Christ's blood, He is the perfect sacrifice, because I am in Christ I no longer have to work for my redemption, it HAS BEEN BOUGHT for me! And that is a debt I would never have been able to pay off even if I had tried my entire life to.

"The Lord is my helper, I will not fear; what can man do to me?"

Food Inc.

2010-03-25T09:27:00.000-07:00

Drew and I just watched Food Inc. last night. This is a documentary that shows just how pathetic American food processing and our eating are. This is what I learned from it:
1. Eat pesticide-free, natural fruits and veggies. America's grocery stores don't have seasons anymore. You can buy kiwi in the middle of December from Mexico, all the while, it has been chemically-ripened. Same with tomatoes and several other fruits and veggies.

2. Buy as much as you can from local farmers. This film made me very sorry for the true farmer, who doesn't use chemicals to grow their livestock, chicken, veggies, and fruits. They are trying to leave the foods unadulterated by unnatural substances and are sometimes sued/prosecuted by the FDA for unsanitary means of growing food.

3. Support your farmer by going to local farmer's markets. Yes, the eggs may cost twice as much as the 'fake' eggs, but would you rather pay for your food now, or pay the doctor later????

4. Meat production in the USA is at an all-time low. If you watch the film, you will see the abuse and all the chemical that go into packaging meats so they will be deemed 'safe' by the public. (They wash your chickens (Purdue, Tyson, etc) in AMMONIA before they package them up to send to your local grocery store. Sound good to you?)

5. There is way too much monopolization going on in the US with food production. You would be amazed how much McDonalds actually controls our food industry. They are the largest buyer of meat, chicken, pork, potatoes, and apples in the country. How is it that every McDonalds burger tastes the same in every country?

6. The chicken coops that your Tyson or Purdue chicken comes from are not what God intended when he said that "Man should have dominion over all the earth." The coops are dark, no windows, the chickens are covered in feces, and many die every day because of these conditions. One farmer was quoted for saying, "Why wouldn't you want to grow a chicken in 48 days what others are growing in 3 months? More money in my pocket."

All in all, I learned that food in its natural state is the way we should be eating. Find your farmer's markets or food that is grown locally and buy from them. They deserve your money for food not corporations who are trying to make cheap calories for big bucks. Eating more wholistically is hard and can be expensive, but we can change the demand for food if we start investing in the local farms. Maybe if we stopped buying soda, chips, and candy we could flip the food market. If we were buying more fresh food, it could become cheaper in the long run. Food Inc. states that we have 3 votes a day to try and change our culture and its food.

26.2

2010-03-20T05:38:00.000-07:00

Drew and I signed up to run the Akron Road-Runner Marathon on September 25th, 2010 just two weeks ago. Before we hit the 'pay' button, we looked at each other made a 'gulping' noise and Drew said, "Alright, let's do it!" Since the beginning of January, we have been training knowing that it was still 9 months away. Thankfully, I have run a marathon before, so I kind of know and can remember what I have felt on race day. And I have had a lot of time to reflect on this and see so many correlations in our spiritual lives.

Immediately after we decided in December that we were going to run it, I saw something that could not remain in my daily diet....... DORITOS! And, of course, I saw some foods Drew could give up, too, but I found out he likes to decide what stays and goes himself. It took about a month to officially give up my love for Doritos but 2 months later, I feel way better and can run a little longer. Chips were something I loved but they were doing my body bad, so I had to get rid of them, in view of the final race.

As believers, we are called to "lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely...." What am running with in this spiritual race that I need to lay aside, to just give up like I did seemingly easily with Doritos. I have a feeling that whatever I'm clinging to, once I give it up, I will look back and wonder why I ever wanted to hold on to something so weighty.

We started training in January, but had already been running lightly before. But we decided to kick it up a notch. We knew we still had 9 months but we feel the sooner we start training, the easier it will be in the end. Each day it takes much discipline to eat well, get enough sleep to run in the morning, and to work out even after a tiring day. So we started lifting weights, doing sit-ups, pushups, and sprinting, even on the days that we feel awful or it might be raining. All the while, keeping our eye on the final race.

"And let us run with endurance the race that is set before us..." Being a believer is not always easy and it takes a great deal of discipline and self-control to walk steadily in the Lord. Christ has done and is doing the sanctifying work needed in me, but I have to willing to lay aside my pride, my wants, and my selfish ambition in order to run the race. I have to look my sin in the face, call it what it is, and throw it out daily, AND. IT. IS. HARD.

September 25th is the official race day. We won't be making plans to go out of town that day. We won't be sleeping in that day. We won't be resting well the night before because of 'pre-race jitters.' But we will be eating out that day for lunch and dinner. We will be up very early on a Saturday so we can head out to the race. We will be running a race that will take us over 4 hours to run. (we are not trying to qualify for Boston :) ) My eye is already on this race and I get so excited and nervous thinking about it!

As a believer, I don't know the "final race day." But I do know who I am to look to in the meantime, "looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." Christ is my hope for living and my hope for dying because I know that I will get to see Him one day and that keeps me going everyday. I need Him everyday to be my spiritual trainer.

We will take all the 'rooters' as we can get for September 25th. See you there!

Calling all Wives

2010-03-07T06:19:00.000-08:00

I was given a book to read by a wonderful, godly woman about 3 weeks ago. I was warned that it has a "love-hate" relationship with women and that intrigued me enough to read it. I came into it very skeptical because as a 'new' wife, I feel as if I have read a gammat of wife- books. But the cover was intriguing enough for me not to just toss it on my bookshelves: Created To Be His Help-Meet: Discover how God can make your marriage glorious.

Who wouldn't want to read such a bold title as that? and Who wouldn't want a "glorious" marriage? So I set-out on my journey through this book and this is what I found:

- God's perfect will for me, as a wife, is that I be a help-meet to my husband. I do have a choice in how good my marriage will be. "For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man." (1 Corinthians 11:8-9)

- Break the 'poor- me' habit. Is the joy of the Lord our strength? If it is, wives will need to stop using the "poor- me" excuse to manipulate their husbands into their plans. Learn to smile, showing him what is lovely, and and earning every shared moment.

- Practice makes perfect. Practice having a merry and thankful heart. Too often, wives have practiced sad, unthankful, and complaining hearts due to financial constraints. This downcast, unthankful attitude is a dishonor to God and an attack on your husband's ego. There are a thousand verses that talk about being thankful/ content in all circumstances.

- As wives, we were not made to be our husband's conscience. That is the job of the Holy Spirit. Go to God and pray, pray, pray before you think about bringing something up to your husband. More than often, the Lord is already working in your husband concerning this issue. Leave things that are the Holy Spirit's to the Holy Spirit.

- Do not allow yourself to dwell on bitter, mad thoughts concerning your husband. Were you mad at your husband this week over something he did, like being late, speaking rudely to you, or yelling at the kids? Did you seethe with bitterness and intentionally avoid looking into his eyes so as to express your disdain? You know what I am talking about. You remember the ugliness of your own heart and soul. Yes, your husband deserved it. Yes, it is your right. But is there any satisfaction in your punishing responses? Does he now bend to your anger and do better in hopes of escaping your condemnation? He practices his faults, and you practice your bitterness. You are both practicing divorce. Your children watch and are practicing being poor future mothers and fathers.

- Learn to enjoy the trip. Do you find yourself having to direct him through traffic or giving out directions? All for the stupid reason of not getting lost or being on time, I open my big mouth and try to command my husband in an impatient tone, all the while, lowering and lowering his ego. All in all, it is not really a big deal if he takes a wrong turn or we get there a few minutes late, I just need to be quiet and enjoy the ride.

- From the beginning, God meant for us to be a comfort, a blessing, a reward, a friend, an encouragement, and a right- hand woman. Adam commenced his rule of the planet before God created Eve to help him in his life's goals. Adam didn't need Eve's consent. God gave her to Adam to be HIS helper, not his partner. She was designed to serve, not to be served, to assist, not to veto his decisions..... Look at Eve. Can you imagine her saying something like this to Adam? "When God brought me to you in that wonderful garden, and we commenced life together, you never said anything about thorns and thistles, about pain in childbirth, about milking goats and churning butter. I am not a wilderness girl!"
Life is full of choices. How you choose to respond will help decide your fate in life. Life is now. Learn to really enjoy taking out the trash or milking a cow. You will be amazed at how God will fill you full of himself.

This book has been so encouraging and has woken me up to love and help my husband. How I react to my husband affects our marriage in a HUGE way, whether it be good or bad. So badly I want control over the situation, but is it worth me going against my husband's leadership and overall, against God's authority to have 10 minutes of control? I don't think so.

Please read this book! It is called "Created to Be His Help-Meet" by Debi Pearl.

Watching 3 Kids

2010-02-21T06:05:00.000-08:00

I think Drew and I have a new respect for parents after this last week. :) Drew and I were "parents" for a week to 3 kids; 9, 7, and 5. I went in a little apprehensive wondering if we would hit it off with the kids and if we could really do this for a whole week. God really taught me a lot in that week, mainly, dependence on Him. Everyday there was a schedule, people needing to be here and there, making meals for 5 people now, having to cut bread crust and fruit skins off, cleaning up dog puke, homework to be done, picking up a sick kid from school, having to find items to go in the Alphabet Jar, piano lessons to be practiced, rooms to be kept cleaned, several vitamins to be taken and to remember exactly how much of each kind, and the list could go on.....

At the beginning of each day I would beg God to give me more strength and lead me with His Holy Spirit to respond appropriately and lovingly. At the end of each day, I was thankful to Him for showing Himself to me throughout the day. I hit the pillow each night with that extremely exhausted feeling, but a good and very earned exhaustion. But every day, God would renew my strength and gave me a love for those kids. I was so thankful for Drew! He is awesome with kids and really helped me out in a thousand ways.

Highlights
- going to the grocery store and 1 of the girls dropped an entire gallon of milk on the floor. (Why I thought I would be adventurous and take 3 kids to the grocery would be a good idea, I don't know...)
- Their car alarm went off in the middle of the soccer parking lot and we couldn't get it to turn off. The girls were saying, "This is so embarrassing," while the people are staring at us.
- McDonald's Playland is really Germland.
- Hearing a 5 year old sing, "Baby, are you down, down, down, down, down," by Jay Sean.
- The doorbell ringing for 15 mins. and we didn't know it was the doorbell, until I realized there was a fish guy coming at 1:30, and that it probably was the doorbell.
- Reading "The Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe" to the 2 girls at night before bed.
- Having the 5 yr. old, who doesn't really read, tell me he can, and he 'read' me a book before he went to bed.
- listening to the extreme excitement of getting to each new world in Mario Bros Wii.
- watching the little boy fall asleep in the car on a 5 min. trip and so I continued to drive around for another 30 mins.
- Hearing, "you guys are the best" a thousand times a day by the little guy.
- taking directions from all 3 to try and find Lebron James' house. We weren't even close to finding his house but Drew and I kept hearing, "Yeah, this looks familiar. I think we're almost there, just keep going up ahead.."
- hearing their prayers, seeing their love for the Lord, and their concern for their friends who weren't Christian.
- Drew was invited to the 5 yr. old's bday party next year :)

Those are just a few of the favorites. The kids were awesome and we were so blessed to be a part of their lives for a week. I am so thankful to God.

Prayer

2010-02-07T13:59:00.000-08:00

Prayer is communicating with God. But so much of my prayers in my life, have been me doing all the talking/thinking/wanting. I want to wait on Him and the answers are: yes, no, or just wait. The "wait" answer is the hardest. There have been 2 major prayers that He has answered recently. One of these seemingly urgent requests have been at my Father's feet for 15 years. The other urgent request about 6-7 years.

Then there are those prayers that seem "petty." But often I find those "petty" requests taking up more of my mind-space than I ever wanted to allow it to. I worry, think about how to come up with a better plan, or take charge! But I am s l o w l y learning that those "petty" requests need to be given over to Him immediately or else Satan can really make me try to think that they are not good enough to come before the Lord with. This usually results in me trying to solve the problem,.... bad idea.

This verse sums it all up and it makes me take a big, long, deep breath:

"come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and i will give you rest. take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for i am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. for my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

I am the 'budget-teer' between Drew and I and I love it! I am a little nerd inside, I admit. And you know where I struggle the most in giving God everything..... my finances or the budget. I think that if I could rearrange our money a thousand times, maybe just MAYBE, we'll have enough for item 'x.' And that is just not how I should be approaching our finances. So, unfortunately until I really get the big idea that God is in control of all of our money, I have to keep praying every day that God would rid me of this idol and issue of control.

"keep your life free from the love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.' So we can confidently say, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?' "

That is one prayer that I will have to keep praying over and over. With the Lord as my God and Savior, how could I EVER desire to control my life or just not pray about them? There is enough time in a day to pray over certain areas in my own life and for others. This is not an equation to be more spiritual but this is an area that God is convicting me about so now I will turn the car radio off more, turn the tv off when I make dinner, and when a person's name comes to my mind I try to lift them to the Lord in prayer.

Why pray? God is sovereign and in control of my entire life, he created me, spoke my name before creation, he comforts me, he has rescued my soul from eternal death, he is my Father, Savior, and the truth that continues to speak into my life.
So I guess the better question is..... why not?

Not so perfect

2010-01-20T15:54:00.000-08:00

For a lot of us, either in Christian ministry or where we are seen up front of the church, the pressure to be perfect seems to always be there. At least that is how I have felt since I started college and it has continued since my husband and I have been in ministry.

My biggest 3 questions are: What makes me believe that they think I am perfect? and What am I doing that conveys this message to them? and How could I be more real and not put a glossy finish on myself all the time?

This discussion came up a week ago with quite a few ladies and I have been mulling it over since then. I think when it comes to ministry, you want to be wise in what you choose to reveal to others about your personal life. But, I know that I need to at least be able to tell those who are closest to me what the real struggles in my life are. And, that is what I seem to struggle with the most at times, and this is the key, because I want even some of those who know me the most, to think that I have it all together.

It is such a pride issue and self-protection.
"For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, 'Abba, Father!' The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him."

Ultimately, by trying to act so perfect, I am fearing what others think of me. This is written to a predominantly female group and my prayer for us is that we don't have to act like we are perfect. Especially to those who are in ministry by themselves, or with their husbands, or with your families, share the sufferings in our lives! Our struggles or sufferings can bring so much glory to our heavenly Father if we quit trying to glorify ourselves. Also, find those people in your life who you can trust completely and you know they would never tell your story without your permission.

It is so freeing to me. I am very thankful for the women that I could discuss this with. The Lord used his Holy Spirit to convict me of so many things this past week.

I am really not so perfect.

dig in

2010-01-12T14:58:00.001-08:00

I have talked to quite a few people over the past year that are struggling to know or 'feel' God. And it never fails, if I ask if they are in the Word, 95 % of the time is always because they are not intentionally spending time with the Living Word.

Even at my Bible study last night, I had a great time with my girls talking about getting in His Word and memorizing His Word. It is such a challenge to me to NOT be mediocre!

GET IN THE WORD! Pursue Christ.

I was challenged to stop making excuses for doing so much of everything else, to stop making new idols everyday, and to hunker myself in His Word. Nothing else will satisfy me like He does; NOTHING else. I worry, I plan, I think and think and think but it does nothing.

Nothing else will satisfy you like Christ will. He is my Righteousness and my Rock.

"And he said to them, 'Where is your faith?'" ~Luke 8:25a~

According to my 1st & 2nd graders....

2010-01-07T05:21:00.000-08:00

I absolutely love my job as a teacher and here are some quotes from them, all from yesterday! I was laughing inside all day yesterday!

#1
In history they were making ancient Greek paper dolls, and well, the dolls don't have much on underneath because you are supposed to dress them and color their skin.
One of my sweetest girl students who has older girl siblings says,
"Mrs. Belden, he's putting a brawl ( a bra) on his doll."

The boy, "What is that?" (looking highly confused. All he was trying to do was draw an extra belt and placed it too high....)

Me, "I don't know what that is..." (as I'm dying laughing inside!)

#2
"Andrew is getting his tensils out, Mrs. Butler."
Mrs. Butler, "His pencils?"
Me, "No, she means his tonsils and he said something about having his androids taken out??? I don't know what those are."
Mrs. Butler, "Now, YOU mean adenoids!"

#3
I'm sure you didn't know that even amongst my 2nd graders, politics is high on their list to discuss. These are my 2nd graders talking, mind you they are 8:

"I voted for Obama."
"Well, I voted for John McCain."
"Yeah, me too. Yeah me too."
"Well that means that we are getting money from you now! My dad said so."
"You don't get all the money. We have to split it 50/50."

(Meanwhile, I am not proceeding with my lesson just so I can hear this intelligent debate between my 8 year olds.)

Love. my. job.

The Joy of Hospitality

2010-01-02T05:47:00.000-08:00

This book is teaching me something new or something that I would like to put into practice each time I open it. I'm only in Chapter 3, but it is a book that is geared towards women who want to use their home to honor Christ.

Chapter 3 has stuck out the most to me due to its emphasis on showing hospitality to your own immediate family first before you should extend hospitality to others. Our first responsibility should be to our husbands and children, otherwise we will be big hypocrites.

Here are some ideas that the book gives that you can put this into practice:
- plan special events for your family: game night, Mexican night, popcorn and movie night, dessert day!, go-out-to-eat for fun. These special nights/ events will give your family something to look forward to and will create a fun evening for everyone.
- For birthdays, establish a few things throughout the day that will really make the birthday person feel loved and appreciated. They mentioned that each birthday something unexpected (that is good) should happen.
- leaving notes around the house for your family showing them encouragement, support, and love.
- If you are married, partner with your husband in the making of these special events. If you are single, partner with a good friend/ sibling to create these special events for other people.

How am I going to apply this to my family of Drew and I?????

This week I am making Drew's favorite dessert: funfetti cupcakes from a box. It's what the man requested, it's easy and quick, what a great husband! We are having his favorite meal first- green apple pork chops, lemon-butter noodles, and fresh green beans. And then on to the cupcakes!!!
Next week, I'm making tacos and we're having a Mexican night. I bought fun Fiesta plates and some streamers. Maybe we'll even play a game.

I think these are small steps to starting to show hospitality even when it is just Drew and I. Being intentional with the people that you love the most really allows them to see Christ's character more clearly and it encourages them.
Romans 12:13 ~ Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

Our heavenly Father has adopted me into His family and has welcomed me and given me an eternal inheritance that will never perish or fade away. How can I refuse to show love to someone or refuse to welcome someone after all that he has done for me?

Back at it!

2009-12-29T07:04:00.000-08:00

I had to figure out what I could write about that I am passionate about. I think that is key to keeping a blog in the first place. If you don't like what you write about, the chances of surviving in the 'blog world' are much more difficult.

So I sat down and hashed it out with the Lord:
- am I supposed to blog again at all?
- what do I write about?
-what would God be most glorified in me writing about?
- what topic would hopefully diminish pride and honor Him the most?

I realize after this that need a detailed plan if I'm going to commit to anything because I hate being a weak participant in anything. I realized a few things about myself as I asked the Lord about this blogging business:

I DO NOT SPECIALIZE IN COOKING, CLEANING, OR ANYTHING HOUSE- ORIENTED.

I have several friends that are cooking and household gurus and I thought I would leave that up to them. It's just something that I'm not very passionate about and I would feel very copy-cat- like. :)

So I have decided I could write very passionately about:
- Theology
- the books that I am reading and what I'm learning
- Sermons
- occasional personal tid-bits
- Drew and I's marathon training and how it ties in to our spiritual life

My prayer for any reader is that you would be edified and that you would fall more in love with our Lord and Savior. The prayer for myself is that I would remain a humble servant, maintain consistency, and stay focused on my Redeemer.

Let me know if there is anything that I could research and write about that you are interested in.
So, I'm back with a purpose!

my blog is dead for awhile

2009-11-01T14:43:00.000-08:00

I cannot keep up with blogging. I'm not even sure i like it, therefore I am giving it a rest. (as if my 4 week writing spurts weren't break enough :) )

peace <3

Favorite Season

2009-10-03T17:07:00.000-07:00

I love fall and I'm pretty sure I have said that at least a thousand times to everyone around me. This is my dream re-arrangement of the seasons:
Fall, Spring, Summer, Fall, Fall, Fall, and no winter. :) Is there such a place?

Reasons for loving fall:

1. the air just smells better
2. running with a sweatshirt and occasional head-band
3. getting a pumpkin candy holder that I don't put anything into actually
4. the colors of EVERYTHING
5. watching the days become shorter
6. seeing smoke in the air and smelling the 'bon-fire- smell'
7. apple pies up the wa-zoo!
8. Honey-crisp apples (they taste JUST like cidar, ooo yum!)
9. curling up with a blanket on a rainy cold day and staring outside while reading a book
10. hearing the leaves falling when the wind blows
11. hiking the Metro-parks in the middle of all those pretty trees!
12. excitement that is in the air for Thanksgiving and Christmas
13. buying tickets already for our church's Christmas concert
14. having fall parties
15. Halloween! (i can't wait to have kids for this! or at least a house where kids can knock on my door for candy, I will totally dress-up!)
16. cozy pj pants
17. the cool clouds that God makes on the more blustery days
18. this is the season for D and I's bdays and the time of year that we met 4 years ago.

see I can just keep going..... I LOVE FALL!!!!!

Children????

2009-09-25T17:36:00.001-07:00

The biggest question as of late is: Am I ready for kiddos of my own???
A couple of my friends here in Akron have children, some are expecting, and some are just so plain excited about having them very soon. For a while I think I was in a honeymoon phase with wanting children. I didn't know as much about the birthing process, the no-sleep for .... well, forever, and breast-feeding. And now that I know about that more, I'm not so sure I'm so ready.

I mean, there are just some things that you are NOT told about giving birth. I will refrain from mentioning specifics. Obviously moms always say just how amazing and mysterious the birth is, but it is beautiful. Then why are all the moms contradicting their stories when I hear of being in labor for 2 days and the dads are saying that they have never heard their wife scream so hard in their life? That does not sound beautiful, mysterious, yes.

I love sleep, very much a morning person, but hardly a night-person. So, I know in this arena, I am being purely selfish. This was proven this last week. D & I were watching 3 girls for half the week and one of the girls woke me up at 3:30 am because she had a bad dream. I proceeded to stay awake until 5:30 only for my alarm to wake me up at 6:00 so I could get the girls out the door to school. I felt like a bag of trash all day for missing those crucial hours of precious sleep.

And last but not least, D's mom keeps telling me stories about what a monster he was as a child and infant, never sleeping, wrecking things right and left, and almost burying his brother in the sand-box. It's like she's warning me as she tells me these stories that my children will torture me.

I know that God will transform my thinking, and I pray He does because I REALLY do want children, actually 4, Lord-willing. I think this phase, I am contemplating and trying to understand the depth of responsibility and love that goes to each of our little ones. I really don't want to go into parenthood oblivious. I have loved D & I's last 2 years of marriage and love love LOVE being with him every moment we can. I am praying that God strengthens our marriage leading up to parenthood and every year after.

D& I can't wait to have children but we will continue to wait, think, and pray about this huge life-changing decision.

sChOoL dAzE

2009-09-18T10:41:00.000-07:00

I am a teacher for 1st and 2nd grades this year and a private tutor for a 1st grade boy in Cleveland. Let me tell you about my favorite quotes or scenarios of the first week.......

1. "Hey you!" (what 1 student has called me for a week because he can't remember my name.)

2. "Where is my pencil?" (seriously, how hard is it to hold onto a pencil? Every time I ask them to get 1 out 1 seems to fly into the air and land in a place where no one can find it or they get snapped in half on "accident". Who has that much strength to make that happen on "accident?" I found some behind the door and in my bag, hmmm)

3. "Isn't he the man that freed the people with a different skin color?" (I was trying to read them a story about the birth of Jesus and they were tracing him back to Abraham. So I decided to ask the kids who Abraham was and I got, "Moses." "Jacob." Everyone but Abraham, sigh. Well, unto 1 kid says the original quote. My aide was watching me and laughing she says. I had THE most puzzled look on my face because I am stuck in Bible times not the 1800's! My aide helps me out by saying, "I think he means Abraham LINCOLN." Then a bee came and we headed back inside because children were no longer interested in the story but the bee.)

4. "Are you wearing a dress because you think you are pretty or something?" (My aide was asked this question by a boy student, who also started the year off by stating, "Are we going to do something less boring?" My aide answered back, "I am wearing a dress because I AM pretty!" ha!! )

5. "Not if they poop out the seeds." (My aide was reading a great book on sunflower seeds and how they grow and spread all over the earth. She read that the birds come and eat the seed and carry it away all over the earth and that is how that student responded.)

6. "My mom said, 'Look at your shirt. It looks like it has poop on it.' I looked and then I barfed!" (I was asking for the kiddos to tell me stories about forgiveness, maybe someone forgave them or they forgave someone else. Well, as you can see, if quickly got off track.)

Kids are NOT boring! Oh my goodness! I am keeping a quote book all year and will share sporadically with you about what is being said. Teaching this grade is so rewarding because they are still at the age that they like school and their teacher. I have already received drawings from students to me, lots of hugs, and tons of smiles every school day. They are super competitive though and so every game we play is a matter of life or death and somebody has always been accused of cheating, especially if it is the winning team. Sticker charts for good behavior are a big deal. If we forgot to put stickers on the chart, it is the end of the world! They are good helpers and love to hear praise from their teachers. I think I'm going to learn a lot this year from them.
They are adorable!

2 years

2009-09-01T17:13:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that I have known Drew for 4 whole years and married to him for 2 of those years! If you don't know our 'story' here goes:
I was set on not marrying any Moody man for fear that I would give into the 'usual- Moodiness.' I am not sure at the time why I was so set against it, but I think deep down I wouldn't have minded. :) And on top of it, I was not going to marry anyone from the 'bro-sis' ( a system to help in the social aspect of Moody.) So Fall of 2005 rolled around, my junior year of school and I was loving life at this moment. So many solid friends, I loved being in Chicago, and there was always so much to do. My sister had a surprise birthday party for me in September, inviting old friends and my new 'brother floor.' Well, it just so happened that Drew was there that night and was interested a little in me.

then came time for the Chicago Marathon in October 2005. I was running in it, my family came the night before so they could cheer me on the next day. And Drew happened to meet my family that night. Drew and I kind of knew each other but were still just talking, not going on dates or anything. As soon as my sister started walking away she says, "I think he likes you!" I tried not to over-analyze that (yeah right!, I'm a girl!)

Drew started making more of an effort to talk one-on-one with me. We would eat lunch together and linger for awhile, sometimes until we were kicked out of the cafeteria. One Friday night, Drew and I had tried to set-up an outing with quite a few of our friends, long-story-short, everyone backed out except us, because we didn't want to miss this opportunity to be together! We ended up at Mcdonald's (surprise, surprise for those who know Drew) and talked for hours. Then we talked to a homeless man about mysticism for the remainder of the night, we both learned more about each other in that moment.

Another week rolls by, and Drew's birthday is coming up. It just so happens that I am the "birthday-card-maker" for our floor and I wanted to make Drew's card especially good. :) And I was also supposed to let all the girls on the floor sign the card, but kind of "forgot" to let them, oops. So this card was all from me!

Another week rolls by and we finally got a group to go to Dairy Queen. Afterwards I was making a Target-run and asked if anybody wanted to join, hoping only Drew would say he would come. (I am sneaky, maybe borderline bad....) Drew was the only one wanting to come with, he made my grocery list out, shopped, and then he told me that he really liked me and wanted to pursue more of an intentional relationship with me. Of course I was ecstatic!! The rest is history.

We started officially dating December 11, 2005- engaged on February 13th, 2007 and married September 1st, 2007.

Drew is the love of my life, my bestest buddy, and my spiritual encourager. I can see Jesus in him. He is so joyful, loving, warm, lover of people, music-guru, best hugger/snuggler, wins the award for the most-carefully-made-coffee, points his index finger in the air when he's really excited, has to have all his books in a tidy pile on his desk, omelette king, faithful to drive our bomb-car, athletic (I'm not sure of a sport he can't play), and so much more.

And I married a Moody guy from my bro floor, go figure.
I can't wait to see how the Lord continues to transform us to look more like Him in this marriage.

Summer Vacation

2009-08-17T13:07:00.000-07:00

I am taking the entire month of August off in between jobs.
It has been so refreshing! I don't think I could just not work for a long time. I need things to do always. Even with these past 2 weeks, I can't help but to make a schedule of things to do for the day. So here is what I have been doing:

1. Reading (this makes me happy)
I have read and am reading and hope to read before September: ( or leafing through)
- Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
- Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
- Hunger for God - Piper
- Romans
- The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald
- Main Street - Sinclair Lewis
- Giada's Kitchen

2. Cleaning
I have basically deep-cleaned most of our apt. and it feels good! I can walk into our closet now and find dishes in our cupboards.

3. Watching Lost with Drew
So, at first I wasn't so sure about this show. I allowed Drew just to update me each time he watched it but I didn't really get into it until one day. And since then, I have watched every episode wondering what will happen next.

4. Cooking better, more whole-foods meals.

5. Running and exercising
I love running and have seen how out of shape I have gotten over this past year in running. So, I try to run, eliptical, or walk each day. A life-long goal for fitness is that I would be able to still do 5 push-ups (real ones) when I am 80 years old (Lord-willing). So I am doing push-ups a few times a week. And lots of other various types of exercises.

6. I have got to spend 1/2 a week with my family in Toledo and Chicago.

7. Seeing some friends that I wouldn't get to normally throughout the week:
1 friend and I have gone running
1 friend and I did some school planning
Having friends over to watch Lost
Having Drew's family over for dinner and to send Mark off to Moody-chicago

8. Definitely getting to see and hang out with Drew during the day
Sometimes we will go to Barnes and Noble
or hikes or read together or go on drives through the valley
I could never spend enough time with him. We don't even have to be doing the same thing, just as long as we are together or in the same room; that makes me very happy. :)

9. getting to know my Savior better everyday ( some days are better than others)

So I will update in another 2 weeks to let you know of any other things that I am doing while I'm not working. I start teaching September 9th but will hopefully snag a part-time job before then.
May God be glorified in my time off!

deep deep love

2009-08-14T09:03:00.000-07:00

I am thankful for a thousand things that God has just given me:
1. an awesome hike that Drew and I went on that turned into an hour longer than what we had planned. (it also included going up a hill that felt like a mountain.)
2. sitting outside and reading everyday
3. not sitting inside, staring at a computer all day, and answering phones.
4. planning curriculum this morning with a girlfriend
5. running on Wednesday morning with a woman I really admire, respect and see Jesus in everyday.
6. legs to run
7. the finances to get our 'new car's' brakes and rotors replaced (I admit, I did worry a bit)
8. getting to watch "Lost' with Drew
9. seeing my sister and her husband here in the States.
10. salvation
11. reconciliation between a holy God and me through Jesus Christ
12. Harry Potter books
13. the joy to do things everyday
14. doing nothing
15. being able to have the time to reflect on God's goodness
16. fresh veggies and fruit from Kriegers (I can just walk in that store and instantly feel healthy)
17. have I mentioned my incredible husband?
18. laughter
19. the beauty of the Violet that I have had for 3 weeks now! (that is a record for me since I'm not so much of a 'green-thumb.')
20. being able to clean my house from top to bottom.

I believe that God loves to give gifts to His children and these are just the VERY FEW that have happened recently.

Natural Health

2009-08-12T12:13:00.001-07:00

My latest hobby as of recently is finding out natural remedies that will improve my daily health, thus, improving my long-term health. This book was a good one to skim through. Here is a briefing from the book:

How many of your doctors ask you these types of questions when you go in for a check-up:
1. Do you go outside for exercise of any sort every day?
2. Are you going outside to obtain natural daylight?
3. Do you eat sweets as snacks, dessert, or with some frequency?
4. Do you drink water to quench your thirst, or do you get your liquid from juice, tea, sodas, etc?
5. Do you use a computer at work, home, both?
6. Do you relax with tv or a computer?
7. Do you take any form of nutritional supplement?

None of the doctors I have had recently have ever asked me these questions and they should! Why? Because these are a part of your daily life, what makes you who you are. Instead most doctors treat the symptom not the underlying cause. Maybe you're getting sick more often because you are moved apt buildings and the guy below you smokes like a chimney. Or maybe you switched jobs and you go in so early and leave so late that you never have the time to exercise.

The Basics of Health
1. Light- too little does not allow your body to absorb enough nutrients from your food. Get outside, even on the cloudy days
2. Water- acts as your body's lubricant and flushes out 'the bad guys'
3. Air- fresh unconditioned air is the best
4. Exercise outside- strengthens heart & provides vitamin D
5. Diet- the food you eat will affect you emotionally, physically, and mentally. Choose well.
6. Rest- allow time for recovery, healing, & growth
7. Relationships- God created Eve for Adam 'it is not good for man to be alone.' and this doesn't mean you have to be married; just be with people.
8. Supplements- 1 multiple vitamin per day (check to see if it has at least 50milligrams of Vitamin B to know if it is a good multi-vitamin or not.) And take plenty of Vitamin C & E.

How to Relieve PMS symptoms:
1. ditch the salty stuff, processed foods, fast food, and red meats.
2. eat less dairy
3. avoid caffeine
4. avoid sugar and alcohol (these will cause you to lose valuable electrolytes)

Just thought I could share with you my findings in this book.
I am constantly fascinated by nutrition, how we are able to help our bodies with the foods we eat, but mostly Americans abuse the foods that God placed on the earth and instead have turned into 'processed foods.' I hope I can take small steps to improve my eating habits.
Goal #1: Get rid of eating Doritos except for VERY RARE occassions, if even that.
I will need prayer for that. :)

London-town

2009-07-19T17:19:00.001-07:00

This past week was quite a whirl-wind of wedding for my sister and her husband, Roger. God graciously allowed the funds for me to go to London for a week. He also guided the flights there and back safely. After watching too many episodes of 'Lost' before this trip, I was a little hesitant to fly. But I knew that after watching 'Lost', I was better off, with all that they have taught me, just in case that were to happen. :)

My plane landed Saturday, July 11th, and needless to say, I felt like a bag of trash. I had a migraine the day before, having to leave work early and go to the Dr. to make sure it was not anything more serious since I was leaving for London. Then the migraine, decided to develop into a head cold that lasted all week in London. The best part was seeing Jessi on the platform after riding on a train so we could finish the last leg of the trip together back to her apartment. She was beaming, as all brides do the week of their wedding, showing me her ring, which I had not seen before that moment. It was beautiful.

All week, I never felt as if I were in London. Even today, as people at church asked me, "What did you think?" I didn't know, I felt like I was still in America, but people were driving on the wrong side of the street, and Drew was not with me. I hope that I get to go back, with Drew, and get to take in the sights more. Next time, next time, but this time was all WEDDING!!

Jessi and Roger met at their church, St. Helen's pretty soon after Jessi moved to London in 2007. Roger is from England, just outside London, just an hour or less. I was able to meet Roger's family and they were very kind, full of help, and welcomed my family into their home the first day we arrived. And then, Roger's dads' patience and kindness was tested, when I left my purse at their home as my family was trying to catch a train in a hurry. He graciously turned around at the train station, drove back to their home, and returned it to me. I was very thankful!

Jessi and Roger were married on July 17th, 2009 at St. Helen's Bishopgate at 1pm. It was a beautiful ceremony. We sang "How Great Thou Art" as the first song of the wedding. St. Helen's was originally built, I think, in the 1600's. It is a smaller but very typical European church, with very high ceilings, and great detail marking the walls. But as we sang that song, with everyone in the church, it rose my affections for the Lord. Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to thee, how great thou art, how great thou art! The high ceilings of the that church made that song seem ten times louder, as well.

After the ceremony, we had a dinner at St. Andrews, which is just down the street from St. Helen's. There we talked with Roger's family, listened to speeches given by my dad, Roger, and Roger's best man, Andy. From there, we proceeded to Dickens Inn, which is a little pub, at St. Katherine's Dock, where we danced, ate some more, watched the cake cut, and waved goodbye to Jessi and Roger. Side note, I was sitting in Heathrow Airport, talking to a lady headed back to Cleveland yesterday, as I was coming back. We were talking about where we were in the city for our stay and small world, she was staying just across the street from the reception, and she saw the sign that stated "Jessi and Roger Day's Wedding Reception." Small world.

As I think about the "Ralston family", what has now split off onto the Belden and Day families, I do get a little sad. My younger sister, Lindsay, now lives in Texas. My mom, dad, and brother are moving to Kansas City in just a few months. Jessi and Roger live in London. And Drew and I live in Stow, Ohio, where Drew grew up. It's a weird realization that family now is not what I thought family would be as I thought about it just 5 years ago. It's exciting to see what God has in store for us!

But, I hope that this realization of my family being split up locationally will cause me to pray more deeply for my family. I think I often forget about them, taking them for granted, consumed by everything going on in my world. But, I pray, that God will continue to transform us through His gospel, sanctifying us for that day when we will all be joined again, having been perfected because of the blood of Jesus Christ. How can I encourage them more prayerfully, through the gospel, and how can I love them each for who they really are?

I pray that through the marriage of Jessi and Roger that His name would be made great!
I have learned aLOT about God this past week and pray that He only continues to teach and grow me more and more.

Think about this....

2009-06-21T16:08:00.000-07:00

"Busyness does not mean I am diligent
Busyness does not mean I am faithful
Busyness does not mean I am fruitful."
~CJ Mahaney~

"In all they ways, small as well as great; in all thy concerns, personal or relative, temporal or eternal, let him be supreme."
~Charles Bridges~

"The early Protestants rightly conceived of our callings as being much broader than our job. All of our roles in life are callings. Being a spouse, a parent, a church member, a neighbor, and a Christian are all callings."

"Most Christians believe they can be a Christian at work. To do so involves being a diligent worker, being honest in one's dealings with an employer, and witnessing to fellow workers. But this still leaves the work itself untouched by one's Christian faith. The original Protestants were right in going beyond this and claiming that the work itself is a spiritual issue and a means of glorifying God. We can be Christians not only in our work but through our work if we view our work as an obedient response to God's calling."
~Leland Ryken~

*****I know that the time I do spend "busy" or not, is not viewed as an opportunity to take it to Jesus. Sometimes I just do the job not looking at Him, not asking Him for guidance or the faithfulness to complete the task He has given me. What if we gave Him every piece of time with our words and our deeds? What would we look like as believers? Probably a lot more like Jesus. "Not my will, but Thine."******

What should I pack in my suitcase?

2009-06-20T08:17:00.000-07:00

In 3 weeks I will be in London, England not just as a tourist either. My sister, Jessi, is getting married to Roger Day on July 17th.
I will be there from July11th-July18th. I'm excited to see Jessi and where her and Roger will be living. I'm also excited because I've never been to London, I've been to N.W England (Liverpool & Manchester area) but never London.

So what should I pack? I already have the general items in mind but what are some things that I might never think of that you guys could help me with?

It's only 3 WEEKS AWAY!!!!!!

I love summer

2009-05-17T11:53:00.000-07:00

I absolutely LOVE summer! It just makes the day seem so much better to just know that it is summer out and that the sun doesn't set until 9pm. I can't believe that it's May 17th and I'm wearing jeans and a turtleneck right now, gross, Ohio, gross. Maybe this time next month it will be 80 degrees everyday.

So here are some plans D&I have already:
The end of May: Drew's cousin, Lyndsay, is getting married to Stewart in South Carolina. Drew is driving down with his family but I can't go!!! My ( ) work, you substitute the word, has a black-out date on the 29th, the day before the wedding! boo.... But I will cheer them on, up here in Ohio.
This is really the only picture I have where you can kind of see Lyndsay. She is in the black& white dress behind the bride-to-be last year, which is her sister.

June is pretty low-key for us, other than Father's Day, traveling to see my family and celebrating with Drew's dad. The end of June we are going to celebrate the wedding reception of Craig Cyphers and his new wife-to-be.

Then July hits! For the 4th of July, Drew and I are going to be at Cedarville University for a worship conference for the Chinese church in our church.
I leave on July 11th to the great country of England to see Jessi and Roger get married on July 17th!!!!
This a picture of them at Christmas time. They are going to live in London but hopefully go to seminary in the states???? Then, we could see them for a couple of years. :) I will be in London helping with wedding plans all that week and leaving the day after the wedding on Saturday....

and then, Drew leaves on that Sunday, to take a week class at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School near Chicago. Boo... he won't be with me in England and I won't be with him in Chicago, double-boo. I want to go to Chicago SO BAD this year some time to see our beautiful friends, the Suttons!

In August, Jess and Roger are coming to the states to have a state-side reception in Chicago. I'm glad that they are coming over for a couple of weeks or so. I think they may come and stay w/ Drew and I for a day or more. :)
Then I hope that at the reception here, I will get to see Lindsay, my younger sister. I miss her and haven't seen her for a while! She lives in Kansas City, MO.
Lindsay is in the middle of the 3 girls.

I will be a free-bird in August for reasons I cannot discuss at this moment. Don't get too excited, it has NOTHING to do with a baby, i promise. Then it will be fun because August and September are the months that are my absolute favorite for 2 obvious reasons: my birthday and D& I's anniversary. Then D's parents anniversary is August 7th and my parent's anniversary is August 29th. So I think we should all just go out for dinner and celebrate!

So this is the life of the Belden's over the summer and more details to be released as we know them later!!!!!

When I have more time

2009-05-11T15:31:00.000-07:00

So, I 'm not that great of a blogger.
I read others.
I want to write everyday.
But I can't.
So for all those disappointed in
my blogging skills, or lack thereof,
I'm sorry.
Maybe when I get to have more
than a few hours after work.....
Maybe when the house cleans itself...
Maybe when I hire a robot to
sleep for me...
Maybe when I can hire a chef....
or maybe one day......
I will be an amazing blogger.

Catching Up

2009-04-11T10:53:00.000-07:00

This is the start of the Belden Holiday Roll: Caramel Sticky Rolls. They are absolutely horrible for you but I think that is why they are so good. It's just from Betty Crocker. Not hard just time-consuming.
You roll them up w/ a brown sugar, cinnamon, & butter mixture and place them in a 13x9 pan that the bottom is covered w/ a corn syrup, brown sugar, and butter mixture. Yum!
After baking for 30-35 mins here is the finished result, gooey-yumminess!
Here is the ribbon memo-board that so perfectly covers up the electrical box in the kitchen. I should have just bought one at Kohls. It ended up being about just as expensive. :) But as least it's in the color and style I love. If you send me pix of your family I will hang them up.....
So here is our room painted yellow, I absolutely love it! How did I not know before now that just the right yellow can actually make you feel happier when you walk in the room? It just feels so cozy.

Yeah, for paint!! It's kinda hard to tell but it's a light, golden butter-yellow. It feels more cozy.
What our room looked like before we painted, BORING......

D & I got to watch this precious little boy, Isaiah, while his parents went out for a meal by themselves. We thought we'd get to watch him for 2 -3 hours but no! the parents came back within 40 minutes! D&I were so sad because as you can see, he's a cutie!

I got these flowers for V-Day from Drew and I kept them alive for 21 days!! This is miraculous people!

Tomorrow is Easter and my family's coming into Akron to celebrate w/ Drew & I and Drew's family. This is the 3rd year that we have done Easter together. I like it, it's nice to have everyone at 1 place.

Hopefully I will remember to take pix and post those. I think I want to feature a family member for a week in my next blog. Hmmm....... ok! I'm going for a walk outside on this gorgeous day!! i can't stay inside any longer!!!!

Recording

2009-02-26T18:46:00.000-08:00

These are some of the people that make up the bands for our church services named Illuminate & Resonate. They have been recording last week and all this week so they can make a CD for our church. There has been so much hard work put into this by everyone.

I am so proud of my husband. This is his love, making music and allowing others to experience lyrics that are biblical and encouraging. I am so thankful to God that He allows my husband to express himself musically this way. There will be 6 songs. Drew wrote 4 of the songs just this last year.

Drew and Tim Bechtel have been in the "recording studio" non-stop. They have taken each part & dedicated many hours/ days to each part. Tim has been awesome directing the sound board and knows so much about how that massive thing all works together. Emily (Tim's wife) and I have been taking meals to them. They built a room up just for this recording in the church, and it's filled with sound breakers and all kinds of things I don't know the names of.

The usual scene when I come to see Drew is this: the sound board, Drew and Tim, and whoever else wants to listen in, headphones on, heads bobbing, heads shaking or nodding, thumbs up and downs, LOUD guitar with the amps up, coffee cups all around, guitar cases, pieces of microphones strewn over the floor, and the leftover meal of the day burning in a crockpot.

It already sounds SO GOOD and it hasn't been mastered or EQ'd at all!!! SO EXCITED to hear the finished product!!
So be looking for the music on Itunes come this summer tentatively!!!!!

Happy -Random

2009-02-26T18:26:00.000-08:00

This is the Hanchey family miuns their adorable little 1 1/2 yr old girl. They treated Drew and I to an overnight trip to Kalahari, a HUGE indoor waterpark! It was amazing!! The hotel room had a Master Bedroom and a really nice living room area with a fireplace; full kitchen, everything!! It was Emma's 6th birthday and we got to celebrate with her!!!! Dan & Michelle are great and we are so excited to be adopted Aunt Ashley and Uncle Drew, aka known as Miss Ashley and Mr Drew. They are too cute! Emma was over last week and she wanted to get a marble out of my ear, her magic-trick. She stuck her little pinky finger in my ear as far as it would go, which was a little painful, and claimed to have found... a marble. Maybe that was what was making me so off-balance the past month. :)
We drove to Toledo Valentine's Weekend and saw my parents and Nick. We only get to go for about 24 hours because we leave right after I get off work and stay as late as we can Saturday night so Drew can lead music at church on Sunday morning. It never feels like we get to be there long enough. My mom feeds us like there are 10 coming instead of just Drew and I.

Celebrating our 4th Valentine's Day together!! FOUR YEARS!! We started dating in Winter of 2005. We celebrated by going to Chipolte and Handels Ice Cream. Drew bought me cute shoes and roses. He is such a great gift-giver!

The Busy Christian's Guide to Busyness by Tim Chester

2009-02-16T17:25:00.000-08:00

Raise your hand if you feel like you can never get all that you need to get done, done. Raise your hand if you put people, God, or important tasks last on your list when you get busy?
Please read this book!! My older sister gave me this book at Christmas and it revolutionized how I thought about my busyness. It doesn't really tell you how to be less busy but rather what are your motivations of your busyness and what is it conveying about your heart with God. Is it an expectation that you feel the need to fulfill for someone else, pride, an excuse, what is at the root of your busyness?
I was super-convicted and I didn't feel bogged down at the end, feeling more busy. I even sighed a couple times almost feeling the stress and expectation levels decreasing as I continued to read.

Preserved

2009-02-01T06:25:00.000-08:00

It is amazing to think how God has preserved my life for His sake for about 15 years. It's INCREDIBLE!! I am a human being and He is God! He has allowed me to grow consistently through His Word and in prayer. There are too many times to count the amount of days that I "just didn't feel like it." And yet, God was still with me.

I remember when I was about 11-15 years old, I loved to highlight my Bible. I think it was because the I liked to color. But then, I tried to preach a couple times on a verse just like I saw my pastor doing. I would be embarrassed if anyone found me doing that though. :) I remember when I was 12, I told God that I was going to read 1 verse everyday for my devotions. I remember many mornings doing that and at that time I was definitely compartmentalizing my love for God.

There were a few times I was called a Jesus freak at school and actually was proud & maybe a little zealously arrogant. But the Lord kept growing me even still. Throughout high school, I loved my youth group. God really used the friends in there and the leaders to help shape my personality and teach me spiritually. I desired to be a leader in there and was there as many times as the door was open.

Then it came time for college. The Lord led me to both of the colleges I attended through a skiing accident & working at a Christian sports camp in the summers. He spoke so clearly each time. He allowed me a few lonely nights at college where I would curl up in a pink Lazy-Boy and pour my heart out to Him. I loved reading the Word and dwelling on it. It was an entirely different level of desiring the Lord that had not existed before. He used my slightly introverted personality to cling onto a few spiritually-deep girls at my first college. Then in the summers throughout college, I worked as a counselor at a sports camp. It was definitely love-hate. I hated being away from my family and people that I really knew but I LOVED the way God would speak to me during my summers there. I would learn a thousand lessons each summer & that is what kept bringing me back to work there. Then God used that camp to open my eyes and hear to desire full-time ministry as a degree. I wanted so badly to love people and tell them about God. Then he led me to my second college.

This college poured buckets of God, His Word, and love for His people on my head! God humbled me so many times, so many times, that I wondered a few moments why I was there. There, He surrounded me with people who, for the most part, desired God, challenged me, got in deep conversations, also had lots of fun. Even in my most weary semester, He gave me a gracious roommate, so much daily strength, & friends that would pray. God also knew about a certain guy that would help sharpen me, challenge me, and just let me be myself. He brought me the best gift, other than salvation, my husband. My husband, has been such a picture of grace in my life. I cannot imagine life without this man. God placed Him in my life, while at my birthday party, at just the most interesting point in my college life. And ever since meeting my husband, God has used him to look at myself in the mirror & see who I really am: good or bad. I've had to face God in raw moments trying to decide if pride was winning the day or if I was willing to be humble and confess my sin.

At this stage of my life with God, He is teaching me so much about what love for His people really looks like. I have compartmentalized too long and it's time that I start actually living out what I say I believe. This is the first time in a few years that I have had a working environment of all non-christians, with a few exceptions. And also at this job, I'm being taught what perseverance, contentment, and true joy in Christ looks like even at a place that I don't like to work.

I'm excited to see how God continues to shape my life throughout the next 10 years & get to look back at these past years. It really makes me thankful for all that God has brought me through and that He really is my Rock and my Refuge. I could not live without Him and would rather not picture life without Him.

Quirky Things

2008-12-18T16:19:00.000-08:00

Ash Quirky-ness

Okay, so maybe the first quirky thing about me is that I didn't ask my husband about my quirky-ness because I already know WAY to many but he of course had some things to add that I didn't knew I did.

1. I sleep with my eyes open randomly and look like a dead person.

2. You flip a movie on after 9pm and I'm a gonner. I have even tried to make my husband think that I am still awake by looking at him every now and then so he won't think I'm sleeping.

3. Traffic is one of my enemies and I talk to the people in the other cars, who can't hear me. This started because I live in AKRON, not Chicago, so WHY why why are there so many traffic jams and accidents, especially when I have to be at work on time? I think people in Akron are weird drivers, seriously.

4. When I walk in the door from work I throw my coat on the floor instantly and throw my purse down and forget about it for awhile. I arrogantly think that it's not "my job" to hang my coat up. Who is? Not sure, I just don't want to do it. :)

5. I have HAVE to sleep with a fan by my head in order for me to get a good sleep.

6. I used to collect football and basketball cards until I was in high school and even got John Elway's autograph.

I'm positive there are many more, but Drew had to read for class so the list ends here and off to the dishes I go! My house needs some picking up love. I am a working mom to my house and barely can make time for it but here we go!!

Christmas Time

2008-12-18T15:20:00.000-08:00

I am getting so excited but cannot believe that Christmas will be next week!
I still have some shopping to do. Next year I would rather people donate
goats, sheep, or school supplies in my name than have to run around to
find me a present that I don't really need.

Seriously, the more I think about it, the more I am convinced that the presents
do not make the day. I love being with family, eating great meals, and keeping Christ
the central focus and reason for all of this!

What I am excited for this Christmas:

1. being w/ both families (1 on Eve and 1 on the day)
2. seeing my sister after a whole year (but VERY sad that
I won't get to see Linds for Christmas :( )
3. meeting Roger, Jess's bf, for the first time
4. making my new Caramel Sticky Buns that will be a Belden tradition
5. sleeping under the Christmas tree w/ my husband on Christmas Eve

Drew and I get to drive to Perrysburg, OH where my parents are
for the night of the 23rd until early Christmas morning. Then all of
Christmas day we'll be with Drew's family.
Then the day after I have to work, I need prayer about that.

Merry Christmas one and all if I don't get back on here before!!!

picture just a little big?

2008-12-18T15:03:00.000-08:00

I hope to change the size of our picture soon. Sorry if it's been an eye-sore and the nasty green! I was rushing out the door when I did that a long time ago and never changed it. Updates to come soon!

Goals

2008-11-23T16:23:00.000-08:00

Lately, a godly woman has really taught me so much about making goals and setting them so I can achieve them. In past years, I have made goals such as:
- I want to climb Mt. Kilomijaro
- I want to travel to New York for a week
- I want to do 100 sit-ups every day rain or shine
- I want to run 5 miles every day

Okay, so some of these goals just aren't attainable for me in the next year, seriously, the climbing thing, what was I thinking? I want to make goals that help me live with God and people with intentionality and help me do things that are biblical that I would never do if I didn't have a goal in mind.

Goals for me are not to produce guilt trips when I can't achieve them, rather, they are to spur me to do more than I usually would. Here are a few for this year:
- run 4 X a week for 20 mins or more, intensely.
- this summer, paint my nightstands and dresser
- make a bday calendar so I can remember!
- take 20 mins to clean up each day.
- Memorize Scripture ( 1 vs each week)
- read 2-3 theological/Christian books this year.
- eat less Doritos by only having them 2 x a week

If you need more specifics & would love how to make attainable goals, I would love to help! I think you can still live spontaneously even when having these goals. The best part of this is it is challenging and pushes me to do things I would not normally do on my own.

A White..... Thanksgiving????

2008-11-23T15:53:00.000-08:00

So, I'm sitting here all cozy with a ramekin full of baked apples, brown sugar, and oats. It is so wonderful! I love this time of the year but I can only handle the snow before Christmas, not after, which is when most of it falls unfortunately.

I grew up in Missouri and the first snowfall could be as early as Christmas or the week before, but I NEVER remember snow as early as the week before Thanksgiving, and LOTS of it. Now I live in Ohio, up by Lake Erie, and we have the fortune of getting all the lake-effect snow.

Drew and I visited my family near Toledo, OH for 3 days, the longest we have ever stayed with them since we've been married. We slept in every day, had a Thanksgiving meal, celebrated my dad's 50th Bday, watched my baby brother play basketball and played intense rounds of Scrabble with my mom.
It was really relaxing and my mom had the place all decked out for Christmas, the tree, the 50 snowmen, candles, and kitchen towels. It was shining in its full glory.

Today Drew and I put our tree up!

Christmas is coming!!!! but first Thanksgiving!!!!!!

The Best October

2008-10-22T16:37:00.000-07:00

Kirra and Taylor came to our humble abode in Stow, Ohio for 3 days. It was amazing and Drew and I couldn't have been more encouraged. What I appreciate about Kirra so much is she is such a great question-asker. She always wants to know how I'm doing with the Lord, in my marriage, etc. Drew appreciates Taylor's challenging conversations. We were so edified these
past 3 days and I am so thankful to the Lord for them. Drew and I are secretly praying that they would move into our den in our
apartment. :)

Here is what we did while they were here:

- We gave them tours of the area we live in now.
- They treated us to Texas Roadhouse for Drew's birthday.
- Drove to Handel's, the best ice-cream I know, and ate our hearts out. I think the best part about that was the ice-cream lady just kept staring at us to order and would never shut the window.
- Talking until late into the night with our pj's
- had a birthday lunch for Drew with his family
- rode their very 1st ride in "Black Cat" our affectionate name for our '91 Toyota Camry.
- waking up late every morning with the Sutton's sleeping in the next room
- Bartholomeu
- hiked a Hampton Hills and took the 3.2 miles route; which took us forever, but was such an incredible time to be with Kirra and hear her heart.
- tried to eat lunch at a picnic table but the bees kept buzzing around us
- ate lunch in "Black Cat" where there still managed to have flies and bees.
- I think everyone drank about 2-3 gallons of coffee in the 3 days: morning, noon, and night
- attempted to watch a movie but everyone managed to fall asleep before it was half-way over
- eating dinner at our table and talking for 2 hours
- praying before they left and then running out the door, testing the speed and agility of "Black Cat" to get Kirra and Taylor to Megabus on time.

And every second of that I absolutely loved.
We love you guys so much, Kirra and Taylor. This weekend was priceless.

Martha, Martha, Martha!

2008-10-11T15:36:00.000-07:00

I was convicted today of my busy nature.
I am trying to be a good wife, clean woman,
faithful friend, godly and pursuing of God,
devoted runner, involved daughter,
daughter-in-law, and sister.....
and I'm getting overwhelmed.

I forced myself to read Luke 10:38-42; where Martha
is doing and Mary is sitting at Jesus' feet.
How much of what I do during the night after I get
off work is in worship to God?
Most of the time I am resenting what I have to do
after working and using the entirety of my brain all day!

But, how am I able to serve God, encourage and love my
husband, and maintain relationships without
feeling all used up?

That is where the strength of the Lord is able to
win over my weaknesses everyday.
Is my identity in Christ......
OR
in the things I am to other people?

If my identity is found in Christ, then not being able to
sweep the floor a couple nights in a row, cannot or should not
really upset me. If my identity is found in Christ, it doesn't mean that
I want to be sloppy but it reminds me that I am
human and not capable of "doing it all." My foundation,
being, and everything is in Christ and that foundation will never crumble
or fade away.

Balance is so important, but sometimes, everything can't be balanced.
Sometimes, all there is is the MIGHTY strength of the Lord.
and I obviously have more time than I think because I am writing this
to a people I have no idea will read. :)

I love the Lord and need Thee every hour.
Why do I act like I don't most of the hours of the day?

Uncle Brian

2008-10-04T11:35:00.000-07:00

My uncle Brian is a believer as of earlier this spring.
Today he is getting baptized with his 11 year old daughter watching, who is not a believer.
This is such an incredible blessing because since I became a believer about 15 yrs ago, my family and I have been praying for Brian's salvation. We were never able to be super close to him because he moved around and then we moved up north.

There were a couple times at Moody that I remember God commanding me to call him.
I would always be nervous because I knew that I was supposed to share Christ w/ Brian but thinking that he would never care to know more. So, I would call but get an uneasy or uncaring response. That was about 3 yrs ago.

Then this past spring, I received a text message from him, which I thought was odd because we don't really communicate very often. I called him the next day only for him to tell me that he has a personal relationship w/ Christ!! I couldn't believe it, which really shows my lack of faith in God, and about wept!

Since then, God has removed him to Kansas City where his daughter is. He is attending the church that my family went to when we were there. The same church that we would invite him to but he would rarely come! Crazy amazing!

He is getting baptized this morning with his daughter watching. Last night, one of the families who helped out in the youth group when I was in high school, had my uncle and cousin over for dinner. They have been getting to know each other since August or so, which is AWESOME!!

I can hardly believe what the Lord is doing but it is bringing nothing but praise and adoration for Him!!! Please continue to pray for my uncle and especially his daughter as she is so young and that she would follow Jesus.

i heart fall

2008-09-20T12:46:00.000-07:00

i really love fall.
So I asked myself, why do you like fall so much? And here are the top 5 reasons:
1. Feeling cozy
2. Football and all kinds of parties w/ bonfires
3. Picking pumpkins and apples
4. wearing hooded sweatshirts and jeans
5. The colors
extra: Christmas is coming!!

I still remember being a kid and going to school w/ all my new supplies and coming home to ride my bike until 9:00 at night. Then on the weekends, my dad, brother, and I would watch the K.C. Chiefs. Sometimes I wish I could be a kid again. Then I see a bus drive by and think, maybe I should be a bus driver because a. I love kiddos, and b. i love school life and hours. But then I think about how I cut off the corners in our '91 Camry and cannot possibly imagine myself driving something 4 times as long!

FALL IS MY FAVORITE SEASON!!!!!!!

The pictures:
1. The tennies I got with my bday money. I love to run and getting new shoes is always exciting!
2. The towels are fall-like and we got them today.
3. We got some new blue pillows for our couch to match the walls.
4. Robeks is a JambaJuice for Ohioans; LOVE it
5. This candles smells wonderful!!!

Retreat

2008-09-07T08:46:00.000-07:00

This weekend I went on a retreat to The Pines in good 'ol Fremont, Ohio. A one day retreat hardly allows me to be still before the Lord but you know, this retreat really allowed me to think about God, Christ, people, and how I fit in.

Older women are a treat to be around when you are 25 years old. I have spent 5 years in college with all people my age or younger. One thing I learned that sticks out so clearly is to not judge. Christ died on the cross to demolish sin and the disunity among His people.

Gossip is poison and what is the root and effect of gossip?... judging a person and allowing others to get in on it. I have witnessed in my own life how poisonous gossip is and have been challenged to stop, just stop.

Philippians 4:8 commands our minds to dwell on what is good, praiseworthy, pure, just, etc. How much more could I encourage someone for the work that they are doing, or for just who they are instead of trying to find one fault in them in order to exalt myself?

Jesus picked and hung out with 12 guys who had lots of problems...like me. But I bet Jesus didn't go around telling everyone how much money Matthew may have stolen as a tax collector. I know he didn't go around and told the other disciples how the 3 chosen disciples kept falling asleep while at the Garden of Gethsemene, and many other stories. Christ took those 12 guys and all their faults and gave them his trust. He entrusted these 12 to spread the gospel after he would be gone.

Christians are sinners; not perfect, sinless creatures. Unfortunately, because of sin, we are not able to be perfect on earth. And maybe I should pull off my mask of perfection and allow others to see the dirt, wrinkles, and scars.

It is my goal this year not to judge or gossip about people.
I need prayer.

The First Anniversary

2008-09-01T06:14:00.001-07:00

I can't believe that Drew and I have been married one full year. At times it feels like longer but most times it feels shorter than a year because we have done so much in such a little amount of time. Drew and I only met each other 3 years ago and done so much of life together since then.

Here are some of the joys of the past 3 years:
Moody, bro-sis, graduating, almost having lock-jaw & going to the dentist, going to Chorale concerts, almost getting beat-up in the city, McDonald's, going home for Thanksgiving together so our families could meet and we weren't dating yet, Drew giving me a cookbook before we dated, receiving Parmesan cheese as a gift from Drew once, looking forward to phone messages on my room phone from Drew, going to Dairy Queen, my dad hitting Drew on the head with a tennis ball, Megabus from Toledo to Cleveland, getting a $75 car that still works!, renting the only apt that we had looked at, Myrtle Beach 3 years & running, having 1 car and always riding w/ each other, me driving on longer car trips ( just ask Drew), Buckeyes immersion, Tribe-appreciation, and Cleveland football.... I will never convert: GO CHIEFS!!!, precious little kids dressing up like characters from Little House on the Prairie, making milkshakes and omelets, talking alot all the time to each other, music, rising early to be w/ the Lord, running & praying, The Chapel, the bands, sleeping on our pull-out couch on Christmas Eve waiting for "Santa," Michael Buble, watching all 4 Lethal Weapons & being really sad that there wasn't a 5th, building a tv stand until 2am and realizing the TV is too big for it, the car almost dying on the hill on Smith Road, and the list could go on forever!

But most importantly we have learned so much about each other, the accountability w/ each other to pursue Christ more than we ever have, and to be so honest even when it's hard.
I love my husband.
I thank God for him every day.
The First Year

The Pleasure of Pride

2008-08-31T08:06:00.000-07:00

"The pleasure of pride is like the pleasure of scratching.
If there is an itch one does want to scratch; but it is much nicer
to have neither the itch nor the scratch.

As long as we have the itch of self-regard we shall want
the pleasure of self-approval; but the happiest moments are
those when we forget our precious selves and have neither
but have everything else, (God, our fellow humans, animals,
the garden, and the sky.)" ~C.S. Lewis~

Steppin' Out

2008-08-31T07:09:00.000-07:00

So, Drew and I are going to try this blog stuff.
Personally, I have never been a fan because this means that
I will probably spend more time on here than necessary.
But I know that I love to read others and keep up on lives
this way so I thought you could keep up on us, too.
But, phonecalls and letters are way more personal for me,
but maybe this little experiment will change my mind.

This is the last day of August, what!??

I barely recognized summer and now fall; I'm not ready.
I LOVE SUMMER and I love fall but fall makes me realize
that soon enough the snow will be coming. I hate snow after Christmas.
Welcome to Ohio.